It was with a heady mix of excitement and trepidation that I arrived at Ely early on Saturday morning, recalling not only the sublime *cough* hockey, jovial banter, riotous drinking games, slippery dance floor and a certain bottle of Toffee Vodka from previous years - but also that inexplicable *cough* horrendous Sunday morning feeling...

This year was to be historic though. Not only was this the first year South had entered two teams in the tournament (effectively doubling our chances of carrying away the Wooden Spoon), but someone had actually brought some healthy fruit to snack on, in addition to the bulging bags of scotch eggs, Pringles, ice lollies and chocolate. Rest assured - the health-nut was swiftly reprimanded and schooled on the Core Principles of the Ely Hockey Tournament*

All too hurriedly South Heroes and South Villains took the the hockey pitches, resplendent in red and green capes respectively. And all too hurriedly we discovered that capes and hockey sticks do not play well together. Whilst a dashing red cape may do wonders for one's self esteem and looks fabulous in action photos, it does rather inhibit any type of competent hockey...

Despite that, both teams performed admirably on the Saturday, with the Heroes taking advantage of actually having a goal-keeper to win 4 of their 5 matches. Club veterans combined with newcomers and even a cheeky ringer from Oxford to take on the random assortment of opposition teams. For the Villains, Simon F rounded off some delightfully flowing attacks with a couple of exquisite finishes. And for the Heroes, Graham rounded off some equally delightful flowing attacks with a mixture of miss-hits, air-balls, stumbles and general cape-related-incompetence that almost made it look like he hadn't played hockey in over a year. The Heroes match against City was 'memorable' as always, with Chris P dribbling one-handed past most of their team to score the first goal and Naomi almost starting a brawl with her brazen goal celebration of running off with the (drunk and abusive) opposition defender's can of beer and pouring it away at the side of the pitch. 

After a full day in the unexpected sunshine, everyone's faces were starting to match the red capes. More beers were drunk, more burgers were eaten and more banter was... bantered. The lightweights headed off in dribs and drabs to the comfort of their homes for the night, while the hardcore remained. Evening villainous/heroic costumes were donned. Drinking games in The Palace (fast becoming an excellent South tradition) was followed by the usual clubhouse dancing. Of particular note:

• Chris P ignoring the clear 'Avoid contact with skin' warning on his can of silver acrylic paint to completely cover himself in spray paint (and then an entire can of Lynx deodorant in a futile attempt to mask the paint fumes).
  
• Shin dressing in an all-in-one Pikachu outfit, which ended up round his ankles for a (sadly) memorable rendition of Gangnam Style on the dance floor. Rather than slum it in a tent, Shin had booked into a nearby hotel for the night. Its still not clear what the hotel staff made of a very inebriated Pikachu turning up in a taxi at 1:30am claiming to have booked a room for the night!
  
• Matt K as Daredevil. The man has the energy of a three-year-old and loves to dance! Who knew?! 
  
• Serin coining her new motto: "Dance like there are people around to catch you".

Sunday was all about playing just well enough that we didn't embarrass ourselves (quite a hard task) but not too well that we ended up having to stay for the final (a much easier task as it turned out). And eating more burgers - obviously.  

So if you weren't there let me just say this. You missed out! And you should definitely join the fun next year!

* Beer, Burgers, Casual Hockey... and Beer