South ended 2009 with another win at Fortress Leys over bottom side City of Peterborough 6 to bring some early Christmas cheer after last week's trip to the North Pole and maintain South 100% record at Home.

In the absence of Dave Aston, Dave Monck donned the captain's armband (or rather he would have done if we could find it) and marshalled the troops in suitably pre-historic fashion. Rumour had it that the Monckausaurus was considering asking if the entire team could play dressed as cavemen and with clubs instead of sticks until the green shirts arrived and a more conservative dress theme was adopted.

Rather than being a cracker, the game was rather like the pair of socks from the great aunt you rip open in the vain hope that a £20 note might be stuffed inside.

After an uneventful and goalless 20 minutes, South took the lead from their first short corner with Nick Bristowe applying the finish via a defender's stick to spin over the line. South then doubled that lead when man of the match Rob Leigh found himself with time and space and lobbed an inch perfect pass over a defender's stick to the waiting Rob Barton to do the rest. Rob Leigh and Ali Ward's high work rates were influential all game as they tore into the opposition like a Jack Russell attached to a postman's trouser leg and the midfield of Kardinal Kev, Bhav and Jack Chalk once again formed an impenetrable Christmas Pudding through the middle.

At 2-0 South looked comfortable but without really threatening to nail the coffin completely shut against a side which fashioned little in the way of chances. Perhaps it was the prospect of the Roast Turkey and trimmings awaiting in less than a fortnight's time that meant mid-way through the second half Peterborough threatened a revival by converting their own short corner after a gift wrapped opportunity was presented at Ben Buckley's left hand post, leaving the keeper feeling like Santa Clause reprimanding his elves. The defence of Manu, George, the Monckausaurus, Nick and JB were not otherwise overworked, and presumably were spurred on by the fragrant smell of Santa's newly washed shorts.

Normality was resumed shortly afterwards when The Right Reverend Kardinal Kevin Rowland blasted home a short corner into the middle of the backboard after a Peterborough defender had earlier got himself in the way of a rising shot.

By this time, Dave Aston had decided that audit work in USA was far less important that South's final fixture of 2009 and promptly appeared for a gallant second half cameo. Sadly for him, he was denied his moment of glory when he was thwarted by none other than Rob "Christmas Turkey" Barton, sporting a new silver fox haircut. He had decided that Dave had no right to turn up late and beat the keeper and the final defender with an exquisite shot, so Rob lifted a ball rolling into the empty net on to the post instead. The rest of the team had already at that point resumed their positions for push-back and both umpires were getting their notebooks out to signal a 4th goal. There were reports after the game that Lord Barton of Chesterton was seen collecting a bag full of old £5 notes from an unnamed betting consortium in the Leys Car Park. He made a quick exit and the first ever unanimous lemon award was granted in his absence.

So, 3-1 it finished and with Ely's win in Long Sutton, South end 2009 in 5th place in 4NW.

Dave Monck

After the game stand-in captain Dave Monck roared "GROWL........" and thumped his tail on the ground:

I guess that means Happy Christmas.