Already crowned division champions, Cambridge South 3s nevertheless came into their last match of the season with a whole host of honours still at stake: Team leading scorer "Sniffer" Greaves was neck and neck with Jack Chalk in the club Goal Kings table, with Graham McCulloch just one goal behind. The previous week's double victory had also tied the club winning streak record with the 2nds' 11-game run to gain promotion last season.

With the lowest number of goals conceded by any men's team over a league season - a mere 12 in 17 games to date - up for grabs was the club clean sheet tally. The team had already secured the record for league shut-outs in a season with 8 and were tied overall with 10 shut-outs, equalling the 2nds from 2007/08 (where 4 of theirs came in friendlies). Finally, the men's goal difference record stood with the 1sts from their Div 4 promotion campaign in 2005/06, finishing on +58. Starting the day on +54, this was also tantalisingly within reach.

Perhaps the blizzard of statistics had befuddled the 3s' usually keenly-focused minds. Or maybe it was the spring sunshine and pre-match team photos lending a decidedly end-of-season feel to the much-delayed derby match. Whatever it was, from the push back South were quickly into the 4s' D hunting for their needed goals. In fact, so cavalier was the attacking verve that even JB was sweeping on the 25 yard line - theirs!

The perils of this strategy were illustrated almost immediately. Blessed with powerful hitters in Dave Monck and James Siddorns and willing running up front from Jacob Van de Moortel and Boris Lossy, the unfancied 4s quickly turned defence into attack, breaking into the 3s' D as the defence bumbled around and the midfield jogged amiably back. Before you could say "cocky overconfidence" the ball had ricocheted around the D as the defence failed to clear its lines finishing with Simon Frampton touching it into the back of the net. The 4s were elated, the 3s dumbfounded and the season clean sheet record out of sight almost before the starting whistle had faded. Echoes of San Marino-England reverberated around the pitch.

Within minutes, things were worse as Goal-a-Game took a strike full on his dodgy ankle. The tumble and roll was quite spectacular, a full 8 revolutions before coming to a halt. Indeed, at one point we thought John was trying to reach the sideline some 20 yards away. As he limped off the pitch, the 3s' chances of Goal King were suddenly looking very dubious as well.

Fortunately, the unexpected reverses served to shake the 3s out of any post-season reverie they may have been in. Attention was refocused, discipline reapplied and the 3s began working to get themselves back into the game. The equaliser came from a scrappy effort that fell first to Tim Clapp, now playing at centre forward, who hacked away like a demented and rather uncoordinated woodchopper as he attempted to get a shot past Shahzad before Ali Edge finally tapped the loose ball in from just outside the right post. Shortly afterwards the 3s took the lead, another unlovely effort this time finished by Tim after great work down the right from full back Nick Greaves, his repeated threatening forays one of the few fragrant roses on the dung heap of the 3s' first half performance.

Still the 3s were finding it difficult to nullify the 4s' attacking threat though. Their 4-4-2 formation led to the 3s being overloaded as first Simon and then Neil at left back were frequently faced with both Boris and Jacob. The 3s were strong in midfield with Matt, Tom South and Stu Creed but the 4s were content to concede a lot of ball and rely on their strong hitting from deep to launch attacks, the 3s allowing themselves to get drawn too far up the pitch with the obvious danger. Too often across the team there was confusion about who should be where, epitomised when both Tom and Stu headed towards a loose ball, only to simultaneously veer away from it as communication broke down completely, presenting it to a grateful opposition.

Despite this, the 3s secured a third goal before half time. The move originated in a delightful pass from Matt Kern in possession, playing a visionary ball through a gap in the midfield down the left hand channel for Ali who crossed for a typically cultured finish from Rupert at the far post. Having already lost their centre-forward, Stu Creed was laid out on the floor by a robust challenge from the Monckosaurus but fortunately the injury proved to be nothing worse than a jarred nerve. By the interval, Creed and Sniffer had both recovered sufficiently to rejoin the fray and the 3s came out with renowned determination.

An early fourth goal seemed to bode well, this time Tom turning on the edge of the D to make space before pushing his shot into the far corner. The 4s weren't going to be turned over though and continued to test the league champions. Several times Chris Collinson was called into action and, having won several short corners, the 4s' best chance of a second was only denied by first a save from Chris followed by a block on the line from Paul South. At the other end, the 3s' usually reliable short corner routines had descended into complete farce with wayward injections, failures to back up, and confusion between stopper and striker all meaning the 3s were struggling to even get the ball back into the D let alone get a shot on goal. Jan, come back, we miss you!

Entering the final quarter, it became apparent it would take something special if the 3s were going to get their 5-goal margin. Fortunately, cometh the hour cometh the man and in this case, that man was Tim. First a spectacular strike from a tight angle on the right beat Shahzad. With minutes running out, a tiring 4s defence was finally opened up with a through ball which put Tim clean through on the keeper. His first shot was saved but fortunately he picked up the rebound to lift it over the keeper and into the goal for his hatrick.

The whistle went as the 4s won one final short corner, pulling everyone up but failing to crack the 3s' determination to hang on to their record goal difference. Not a vintage performance from the 3s but credit goes to the 4s for a display that has come on leaps and bounds from the teams' first meeting at the start of the season. Had missing stars Phil Harvey and Ian Marshman been available as well, the result could have been decidedly hairy for the higher team.

With both teams feasting on Jake Davis's home-made cup cakes and captain Jelley's sparkling fizz, news came through that Graham had snatched the Goal Kings title with a final-game hatrick to pip both Jack and John. Still, a club record twelfth victory on the trot took the edge off the disappointment and the team look forward to next season back in Division 5NW at the first time of asking.