The mens 1sts assembled for the first time this season at Bishop's Stortford, with three new faces and some collective apprehension about how quickly we would get back into the swing of things before the league started. As it turned out we needn't have worried.

Right from the start, South dominated the play, keeping possession well and knocking the ball around with a confidence that helped to settle the nerves.

Johnson (F), newly positioned at centre mid to fill in for Mark 'no show' Williams, gave a commanding performance (literally), while up front, the new wingers Halse and Haslop, demonstrated some smart thinking and swift feet to cause the opposition all sorts of problems.

The back four of Parsot, Graveling, Aston and Wych mopped up any opposition attacks and set the tone for South's passing game, distributing the ball to all corners, while Hawkes and Chalk provided both width and some telling passes to slice through Stortford's defence. What little work was left for Parker in goal, was dealt with comfortably.

After several promising attacks, South's first goal was as simple as it gets. Having been awarded a free hit just outside the 25, McCulloch, all alone in the D, called for a quick ball to be played in. Then yelled for it again. Then finally resorted to begging. Just as McCulloch was considering what bribes to offer, Johnson, who had been hovering over the ball all this time (presumably engaging in banter of some sort), finally relented and slapped the ball through to (the incredibly still unmarked) McCulloch who justified all the nagging for the ball by calmly deflecting it past the keeper into the goal.

At half time the score was still 1-0 and and the heat and lack of fitness was starting to take its toll. But South regrouped and started the 2nd half strongly, with McCulloch's sky-high aerial push-back (new rules!) to the opposition (as it was a friendly) being variously described as 'gloriously sublime' and 'disgusting and embarrassing'. I think we all know the truth...

There was plenty of time in the 2nd half for South to show more flair. Johnson got on the score sheet, pouncing on a loose clearance in the D to smash the ball back past the hapless keeper and make it 2-0. Parsot, presumably taking a leaf out of the 'Bristowes Guide to Sweeping' book (God help us all if that ever becomes a reality!), managed to hit the air just above the ball so hard a small crack appeared in the space-time continuum. Wych, clearly feeling smug at his evident superior fitness, proceeded to abandon his centre back role in favour of doing shuttle runs up and down the pitch, on two occasions finding himself with the ball in the opposition's D with just the keeper to beat. Needless to say, the score remained the same. And presently, with unusual generosity, South gifted Bishop's Stortford a goal to give them a glimmer of hope.

Which was quickly dashed by the ever-sneaky Virdi (on for 'Rub my groin' Haslop). A fine diagonal ball in from Hawkes found Virdi at the far post and, as the keeper lunged, he deftly started to flick the ball past him into the far corner. I say 'started' because this was truly the slowest goal-bound shot ever played. Never before has a South player attempted to 'run the clock down' and score a goal *at the same time*. It's not confirmed but I believe Virdi had time to pat himself on the back and high-five at least 3 of the watching 2nds before turning back to see the ball roll across the goal line.

And so it finished 3-1. South 1sts are UNBEATEN THIS SEASON. A really solid performance by the whole team, which bodes well for a great season.