This report was going to include some Greek puns and references, in recognition of the Herculean effort we put in. And the Little Chef's breakfasts. But, tragically [heh!], I haven't got the energy to write that at the moment. So for now here is a report in Joe's bullet point style. Maybe as a placeholder whilst I write something more verbose, maybe not.

Goals and other key incidents;

• 1-0 GOAL for Alford - neat dribble and fierce shot placed just inside Rob W's near post. Classy effort.

• 2-0 GOAL for Alford - counter attack sees defence and Rob outnumber; Rob rounded, and defenders scrambling back to the line have no chance with flicked shot.

• Rob gets a big left hand up to pad away a flicked Alford short. Straight onto the eye socket of James S. Fortunately no serious damage, but South down to 10 men for a couple of minutes until this is clear.

• 3-0 GOAL for Alford - umpteenth short is switched left, shot taken towards a defender who politely gets their foot out of the way, leaving Rob behind them unsighted.

• Another Alford short is flicked up and goalwards; Rob impressively gets a stick on it, the ball looping high and dropping towards the crossbar. It comes down 10cm the right side, i.e. onto the roof of the net.

• Half-Time - South change formation from 4-4-2 to 4-3-3.

• Tom free down left channel. He tries to push the ball one side of the 'keeper and skip past on the other but the goalie does well to block.

• 3-1 GOAL for South - neat triangular passing from Ali to JT and then JT to Tom. Tom is clean through the left channel again, and this time opts for the early shot, finding the far corner.

• 3-2 GOAL for South - short awarded after an Alford defender tries to sit on Ali. JT injects, Ron stops, Rob B cracks a straight shot into the corner. Clean routine.

• Alford short, struck goalwards but James S makes a good aerial pick to deflect wide.

• 3-3 GOAL for South - short awarded with 4 minutes to play for some lumberjackery on Tom (very reminiscent of our first half defending). Another clean JT inject and Ron stop set Rob up for a shot. This time its saved, but the rebound drops for Paul who works himself some space and pushes home under the 'keepers dive.

• Alford yellow card for dissent. Last two minutes against 10 men.

• JT sends in a cross from the right that somehow bisects (trisects?) all our forwards, who are all unmarked in the circle. Tom makes a diving attempt to reach it, to no avail.

Things we learned;

• Rob B is impressed by Wisbech's Dick-of-the-Day outfit.

• He also, apparently, suffers from an odd form of Tourette's which leaves him shouting 'cock' and 'balls' when sitting next to a face painting table, especially when its occupied by a five-year old.

• Rasmus presumably knows all about Skegness' history as the preferred holiday destination of the Yorkshire working class. How else to explain him bringing a flat cap to the game but not a pair of shorts, if it wasn't as a homage to that past?

• This seasons 3rds are not very 'Olympic' in their breakfast choices - 7 on our last sojourn to the Lincs wilds, just 2 this.

• Olympic breakfasts are either perfect fuel for 2nd half comebacks, or troublesome ballast leading to 1st half deficits, depending on your view point.

• Heading the ball clear is good in football, not hockey.

• We do better when forced to play with 10 men for a period of the match.

• We also do better when both the Captain and Vice-Captain play when they should really have been in bed with a Lemsip.

• Inspiring half-time team-talks consist mostly of coughing.
  

• Jan and Ron can't stop trying to Umpire, even when holding sticks.

• Rob B and Johnny B have no such problems [that '16' clearly came of your stick last JB, and your body language showed that you knew it].

• Of all the hockey skills, the one we are best at is stick tackling. There were some terrific examples, particularly in the first half.
  

• JT claims assists on any goal scored within 100 miles of him.

• Our trend of goals-scored-per-match is very encouraging. Since the Spalding game on 26th Oct, it runs 0, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3. We should be into double-figures by the end of the season.

• We scored twice from short corners. Twice! In one game! And yet it didn't prove the end of times.
  

• If you shout at an Umpire once, and get away with it, you should shout at them again. If you still get away with it, shout a third time, then the yellow card and rest you have been angling for will come.

• Danes, even flat cap wearing ones, regard chip butties as closer to bacteriological weaponry than a form of sustenance.

• Ron knows a secret route across the fens that is 10 minutes quicker than the 'normal' one. Jan doesn't.

• Ron likes to gloat about his secret knowledge. Or had some text messages to use up. Or went a little stir-crazy. One of the above.

• And finally... Allowing the opposition a three-goal head start makes getting something from a game more difficult. But not impossible.