Saturday will go down in the Cambridge South Hockey Club record books. South started the match on fire, and after a free flowing movement that deserved to be recorded, set to classical music and played on this website in slow motion forevermore, South found themselves with a prostrate goalkeeper and an open net. They honestly didn’t know how to cope with the incisive passing that tore through their defence time and again. In fact, if they wrote textbooks on scoring goals, you’d probably read about these in one of those books.

So does that sum up our 14-0 victory against Ely 2s? No. In fact, all of those quotes have simply been copied and pasted from M1s match reports for 3-0, 8-1 and 12-0 victories. If the men ever have a 14-0 victory (and so far they have found a score that high to be rather elusive) you can only imagine the number of superlatives the report would contain.

Fortunately the ladies are magnanimous in victory. All that needs to be said is that the ladies played excellently, resulting in 2 goals from Bex, 3 from Caroline, 2 from Kylie, 1 from Lauren and 5 from Alice (and one unclaimed so far).

Lauren was MoM for her excellent positioning, and for turning up with very little notice and being brilliant. Loopy was lemon, because she didn’t even bother to touch the ball once.

The local news has been known to publish reports with titles such as ‘South on the Rampage’ for the aforementioned 8-1 victory, and even gone as far as describing a previous male captain (who definitely doesn’t feed stories to the local news) as Captain Fantastic. Will similar reports be forthcoming for the ladies? Only time will tell.