Fellow top-table rivals Ely 3s had so far been undefeated when they came to St John's to play, and a hard match was soon to be had.

With the captain stressing the importance of arriving in time to do a proper warm-up and tactics run down…of course everyone turned up late. Special mentions must go to Wilco for turning up two minutes after the game was supposed to start, Nathan who turned up six minutes late and watched the first ten minutes from the side-line (whilst Dave had decided to leave his house without him) and Shazad turning up without his goalkeeper kit on one minute late. What could go wrong?!

Other special mentions must go to Neil and Graham for umpiring the game. To explain the pictures on twitter, they were wearing exactly the same colour as the opposition's new away kit and therefore had to umpire in their skins much to the hilarity of everyone involved (see picture below). Once Graham and Neil had made sure that there was a ball on the pitch and "Has everyone got a hockey stick?" - Graham going for the joke of the year prize - we set off six minutes late in order to let the South players get their arses into gear! Captain's note: not happy.

The first half was pretty equal with both teams having chances. Unfortunately the first goal went in Ely's favour as a 'soft goal' trickled over the line while everyone watched it go by - slightly bemused as to how it went in. Ely went in 1-0 up at half time.

After the break, with renewed spirits South 4s pushed and pushed, where one very 'special' goal came in from the Monckosaurus. Very similar to what I imagine Paul South's LOM award was for the previous week. Use you imagination here chaps: Dave was gaining momentum as he picked up speed from the half-way line; Joe pushed a pass to Doug (also supposed to be in defence) from a hit within Ely's 25; Dave gaining more momentum; Doug did some tricks with his stick; Dave STILL gaining momentum.

He was a bull, a raging bull against the red of Ely's tops, barging and chucking both opposition and South players out of the way. The captain screamed for him to get back into defence: what was he doing?! Dave, momentum fully built up, got slipped the ball by Doug. The centre back swung his stick wildly (NB: If any officials are reading this, it was a controlled swing) bringing down a reverse stick hit with the full force of a 3500lb bull right into the top corner of the net: Ely stunned; South 4s stunned. 1-1.

The second goal came from a short corner. Having not practiced any shorts whatsoever due to the fact none of the team can be bothered to turn up unless it's 3 or so minutes after the start of the game, a quick pow-wow occurred and a plan was hatched. Ian M injects; Tim Clapp runs in front of the goalie and bats his eyelashes as a distraction and Joe powers it into the net; John G and Nathan follow up just in case. Which was what happened. 100% success rate. 2-1.

There were quite a few chances after that, mainly for South (although Ely had a few chances too) including Nathan M who almost got on the end of a couple of goals.

Amazing win for the 4s, having beaten Ely 3s (top) we should be able to beat just about every single team in the division. Which leads me to the question…how on earth did we lose to Nomads 3s?!?! Boris…??

Neil and Graham umpiring in style