On paper the victory looks good. However, if you were there spectating you would have seen what should have been 10+ goals.

Goal rundown:

• Tom R flicks the ball though the keeper's legs after a John G shot from the top D. 1-0.

• Short corner awarded. Joe W slots it inbetween the goalie's pads exactly like last week. 2-0.

• Half time

• Nathan runs down the wing and takes it into the D drawing the goalie to then pass to Rupert to finish. 3-0.

• Rupert scores another expertly from a short corner. 4-0.

• John G decides to join the party and nails one into the net after 2 or 3 blocks from various other people's shots by the goalie. 5-0.

Other special mentions:

• Tom P managed to save a goal off the line.

• Everyone struggled with a 3-4-3 formation. However, when asked if anyone could go in defence to make it 4-4-2 everyone was immediately quiet.

• Tim C had an amazing deflection, just as planned off a short corner. Their keeper pulled off a fantastic mid-air save only to have Rupert follow through.

• Note: our shorts now have had a 100% record in the past 2 games: 3/3 - keeping it simple. Sounds like we could teach the 3s a thing or two in this department?

• Shazad didn't have too much to do but pulled off one or two spectacular saves.

• Wilco still turns up late (even after the captain pretends that it was an 11.50 start rather than 12.00).

• James M didn't turn up at all…

• We had two cheerleaders (new record?!)

• Steve (our umpire) turns up to umpire games without a whistle, because that's how he rolls.

• John G owes the 4s a new match-ball after he decided to deflect a ball over the fence into a tree.

• Rupert has now scored more goals for the 4s than the 3s in just two matches for us…

With City next week - them having beaten Ely 4s 15-0, Ely 3s 5-0 and St Neots 10-0 - it'll be a tough game to say the least. Apparently they have three ex-national players holding down their centre. Brilliant. However, if there was a team who could contest City - it would be us, being currently second in the league. Perhaps we won't be able to win against them in a straight-up hockey match, but little do they know 'straight-up hockey' isn't our thing:

Warm-ups? Definitely not.
Turning up on time? You're kidding.
Scoring open goals? Not our style!

With some 'special' tactics and PowerPoint at the captain's disposal, I have no doubt that we will come up with a master plan. With the whole league undoubtedly rooting for us, we'll show those ex-national players why they're just that: ’ex'.

South on three!