After last weekend’s South 4s v Bury 4s match-up at the Abbey had produced a narrow 2-1 victory for the visitors, South travelled for the return fixture eager to level the scores.

With post-season availability very limited, the travelling “5^th XI” squad actually consisted of a motley assortment of 3 M5s, 5 M4s, 3 M3s, Howard’s young son, Tom (who usually plays for Bury) and the M2 goalie playing outfield, as the teams agreed to use kicking-backs.

Culford School isn’t a familiar venue for South and the first challenge was finding the pitch in its vast and lavish grounds (down the driveway, left at the stately home, past the sports centre and swimming pool, around the indoor tennis courts and you’re there).

The day was already pretty warm by the 11am push back and with the heavily-sanded pitch slowing things up, it was going to be a test of both teams’ endurance. Bury’s team of predominantly experienced players interspersed with a few youngsters started well, controlling the midfield and putting South’s goal under pressure. The home side won a number of short corners, one of which Rob tried to signal by blowing into his water bottle, succeeding only in losing his bottle (literally) and making a strange gargling/choking sound.

When the first goal finally arrived, it was somewhat against the run of play as a South foray into the Bury D finished with the ball dropping for the guesting Tom Steed to finish coolly from close range.

Bury were right back into it though, their midfield pressure creating more chances, eventually resulting in a cross into the D from the right being struck back across goal and into the far corner of the South net with the defence all at sea.

At this point Shahbaz decided to take a turn hunting near the front and handed over his kicking-back duties to JB, who was making his (alleged) final appearance for South after 17 years before he shifts across to act as babysitter/taxi driver for Newmarket 3s next season. JB's hopes for a sign-off goal were stymied though as he was repeatedly called into action at the other end. Confusion after his first kicked clearance led to him borrowing a blue top from Rob, prompting an on-pitch strip from Rob and the slowest shirt change in history from JB.

South did reach half-time with their noses in front, courtesy of that rarest of beasts: my first goal in five years. Nominally playing centre-back (or was it right-back by that point? I forget), I decided to copy Shahbaz and unilaterally promote myself up the pitch. When the ball broke loose on the Bury 25 yard line, a quick pick-up and drive into the D, riding a tackle before feinting to wrong foot the covering defender, was finished with a scooped shot placed past the kicking-back. They may not come along often, but when they do they’re gems!

At half time, Rob decided to beef up the midfield by switching to a 1-4-3-3: cue moaning from the M4s in the side about how they’d won promotion playing 4-4-2. Sensibly, Rob ignored them and it was quickly apparent that the addition of another player in the centre was having the desired effect.

The noon-day sun seemed to be having more of an impact on Bury than on South, who were also benefiting from a substitute allowing players to take 5 minute breathers. As the home side tired, South began to take control. First, Joe extended the lead before adding another and then tried to claim a cheeky third when his hit into the D from the left was deflected in by an unlucky defender. In between, Jelley also got on the score sheet.

The last quarter saw a flurry of goals. Rob, having put down his umpiring water bottle to take his usual position up front, knocked home, followed by Dave foraying forward to add a trademark big-hitting strike. Next was James B who with the clock running down caught everyone off guard with a sweet reverse stick hit that flew into the far corner of the net, to the alarm of the Bury defenders.

There was still time enough though for Dave to give a vocal display of his paternal biases, another surge into the Bury D being accompanied by a booming demand to "GIVE THE BALL TO NATHAN! GIVE THE BALL TO NATHAN! TO NATHAN!!" Who was it you wanted us to give the ball to again, Dave...? Someone was listening though, as Nathan wrapped things up with a goal with the final touch of the game from a short corner after time had been blown.

So a double-figure win for South that betrayed a largely even first half before the home side ran out of steam in the final twenty minutes. The match was played in a friendly spirit and Bury were gracious in defeat. Let’s hope we haven’t put them off a repeat fixture next season!