They say that away trips are when a team bonds best. So what better way to start the new year than a trip to Wisbech for a 4pm game having watched games fall to the sub-zero conditions all day. Down two players this week for unknown reasons, later determined to be due to a the New Years Resolution: learning a new skill.

Anns & Walshy were off practicing their new yoga moves, or at least that's what they were claiming, with a DVD and all to try and prove it (which we were later to discover was the captain's) Simply put though, it was nothing to do with getting fitter. There was vague mention of Anns using it to replace his usual pre-match bathroom break followed by a lie down on the pitch with something more "normal" but at the end of the day, it obviously had nothing to do with that. It was all about the "yoga pants". Sorry ladies!

Drivers appeared to be at a shortage this week. With the VW still recovering from it's Christmas break and JT not having received double mileage for that day, there appeared to be a bit of a problem when we were trying to fit ten of us into two cars. While mathematically possible depending on kit bags, no one really wanted to do it.

Enter Shin, who firstly told us he was under the weather…again…then came up with the bold statement that he needed to be in London by 7pm. This would have been a good place for a lolcano, if that was actually a word - more on that later - but at least he could drive people. We'd figure out how to get everyone back when we got there.

A peaceful drive through the fens was held up by a learner driver. With the confident phrase "sudden breaking" tattooed across the back, we were a little concerned following in close convoy. As the safety car pulled into the garage for an unexpected pit stop, we had a chance to spread the pack out and soon lost the following Shin.

Upon arriving in town, we spotted the catchy phrase "Robert Hale, Homes for Sale" and almost considered popping in to see what we could get for our money, having traded a number of horror house stories on the way up. Properties are surprisingly more expensive than expected.

Having arrived ridiculously early, despite accounting for the now obsolete Venner Time, leaving late and being delayed the whole way, the previous game still hadn't finished. After a quick jog around the housing estate, being told to not warm up on the grass for fear of getting mud on the pitch (ha!) and a bit of a stretch in a car park, we were good to go.

So came the game, which after all this was frankly a let down. We battled well and matched up pretty evenly in open play but our defenders had decided they didn't want to play hockey on the slippy pitch, instead preferring football. The umpires, sadly, had read the Rules of Hockey and were having none of it. A number of short corners later and we were 3-0 down. We tried to score one of our own, Coops delicately hitting the post for no-one to follow in. The only other attacking action of the half came when Dom decided to deflect John's reverse stick strike, that may or may not have been heading for the bottom corner, in completely the wrong direction (away from goal).

As we approached half time the pitch was starting to freeze and a long discussion took place as to whether we should even play the second half. Another Wisbech short corner saw us 4-0 down, before a collision sent a defender flying. Another conversation and it was decided to call the game off with fourteen minutes to play but for the result to stand. At least we wouldn’t have to come back on a Sunday.

End of the report? Of course not, there was still much fun to be had. After just about avoiding being scalded in the stupidly hot showers (or was it just that cold outside), discussions were had about the appropriate way to dress. Socks, trousers, shoes, one leg, both legs, all were considered at this point. The Krusty the Clown socks were quickly pushed to 2nd on the list behind the "I Heart Rugby" socks the captain was sneakily donning. Deciding it couldn't possibly be the sport - after all he plays hockey - it must be the town near Northampton and who admits to liking that? Odd! It was discovered they were a Christmas present from the captain's secretary. Why is this important you ask? If one has a secretary, one should be more organised, and thus be able to sort out a team, meeting points, times and everything, or at the least delegate it to someone whose job it is. But I guess if you're sponsored by Nescafe then you can do things your own way. Note: Drinking lots of coffee at your own expense does not make you sponsored by a company, you normally have to get things for free.

To round off the afternoon, which was now evening and dark and cold again, Laurel & Hardy provided their audition for the vice captain administrative duties of filling in team sheets, collecting money and recording MoM & LoM. The latter without a pen to note down the votes, the former having to ask everyone at least twice their shirt numbers and who actually played.

The lolcano….As a final note, a lolcano is not laughing out load so much you explode like a volcano. That would be lolsmyeliav, which frankly is a mouthful and a half. You could say its laughing out loud crying and needing oxygen, but other people would have to know what you mean, and they don't because I just made that up! It's definitely no Lollercoaster and its certainly no Roflcopter. Keep trying though Coops, because there's an image on the internet for everything!

Home again next week. Need to start picking up some points…