Loppy got in her car and pootled up to Ely in the early hours of Saturday morning. Loppy’s life as a terminator was sometimes a lonely job, and today was no exception. Loppy found herself on the pitch on her own ready to take on her first Ely team of the day, but located her reinforcements shortly after and dominated to keep a clean sheet.

Loppy was excited to carry on and play another game, but this excitement was short-lived. Loppy was faced with some sloppy full-backs who were not helping her out very much. The rest of Loppy’s reinforcements were a bit sluggish out of the blocks. Soon Loppy’s team were two goals down, and no amount of Lucozade and jelly babies seemed to be able to help the situation.

It was a game of two halves. Unfortunately, Loppy’s team won neither, but they improved considerably and drew the second half 0-0. If only there was a league table for only the second half!

Loppy was not a happy bunny. Not happy with having her moment of glory snatched away from her with an awesome stick save above her head (if we’re honest she probably wouldn’t have reached it anyway…), Loppy decided to set up a different match and get her revenge in the second half. The ball was smashed in across the D. Loppy had it in her sights: nothing was going to stop her destroying the ball. Unfortunately one of Loppy’s friends was in the way. Loppy didn’t care. Loppy flew across the D, with teammates scattering in all directions across the fens. Loppy flopped to the ground. Unfortunately one of Loppy’s friends was between her and the floor. Loppy did not mind: she had terminated…

Chocolate cake and sausage butties saved the day. The result was far from ideal but Loppy’s team were outplayed on the day despite some valiant efforts from Pooolllllyyy, Danger-Kim, Duracell Bex and Howlie the Tooth Fairy.