South 3rds put our leadership of Division 5NW on the line against visitors Louth, who had voluntarily dropped down to this level from Division 3NW over the summer. However, any concerns that they might be a bit good were slightly tempered by there not seeming to be many of them. In fact, a quick count of heads identified only ten white-clad players (it turned out their eleventh man was a no-show.)

It wasn’t clear exactly which team was a man light in the opening fifteen minutes though, as all too often it was the visitors who unaccountably had players over. If they had scored during this early period it could have been a substantially different game. Fortunately their best chances went unconverted, much to our relief and due to typically good keeping by Lino, and then we finally put together some simple attacking hockey to score two goals.

Both involved great wing play from Will, the first receiving cleverly on his reverse stick to both knock the ball past the Louth left back and also cut him out of the game. It put Will clean through to the right byline, from where he pulled the ball back to Joe, who swept home. The second came from the other flank, where Will this time was released by Ollie’s pass and went for a reverse stick cross from the left channel, which Simon turned home from the spot, also on the reverse.

There had been some controversy during the week over a suggestion that the 3rds might experiment with drag-flicks on some of our shorts. With the side two up and the key personnel on the pitch when our first was awarded, it was decided, “What they hey!” The inject was swift and accurate, the stop sharp, the pick-up and throw was clean for contact and, but for a slight radar issue, might have had full success. In fact, if Joe had been a little slower heading for the post it would have taken his head off, rather than flying behind him! More on which later…

Half time brought soothing words from the skipper, who had been relatively pleased with the performance. But it also included the full Alex Ferguson hair-drier treatment from Neil, who was rather more underwhelmed with the team’s showing. The crux seemed to be that we were coasting and capable of playing several levels better. Neil’s rant may have got him the Lemon award [sample vote – “He went as purple as his shirt”], if he hadn’t been blown out of the water by the skipper moments into the second-half, as Jan was caught out not supporting the player on the ball just as he was loudly demanding that the team support the player on the ball! Do as I say, not as I do. And stop laughing on the sidelines!

Louth were understandably tiring playing with a man down and the second half continued in the vein the first had ended, with us pushing and dominating possession and territory. That meant they were having to make a number of clearances from their circle, and one of these would lead to our third goal in a rather unfortunate manner. The defender’s attempted boom clear conspired with the Long Road astro to rise up sharply and whack Joe under the chin from very close range. The claret was immediate. Joe proved himself nails by wanting to go the full Terry Butcher and play on, but less hardy souls prevailed on him to make for Addenbrookes instead. Joe’s implication that it really was ‘just a flesh wound’ were later confirmed by the repair requiring only glue and not stitches or his jaw being wired shut (sooo close!) Play resumed with the short Joe had ‘won’ and this time it was back to Old Faithful, with the Monckasaurus stamping his foot and nutmegging the keeper.

Three was swiftly four, the goal coming from a counter following a Louth shortie. That was broken up by Dave, who played it out up to Simon on halfway. The ball was 55/45 in Si’s favour, and he was able to use that to spin past the defender and give himself an unimpeded 50 yard run on goal. Teammates and defenders were trailing in Si’s wake as he advanced, rounded the keeper and pushed the ball home from a narrow angle. The game was safe, but there was still time for Si’s hat-trick. It came from a second-phase ball in the Louth circle following a save from their keeper, Alex keeping it alive and then picking Si out for a reverse stick flick at the near post.

Thanks to Shahbaz and Steve for umpiring, and also to Louth for sticking with the ~200-mile round trip once it became clear they didn’t have a full compliment.