South travelled to March in high spirits, knowing that a win would all but guarantee their safety in Div 2.

After another stirring team talk by Jim (although looking back I can’t remember anything he said) we started the game well off the pace, struggling to adapt to the slow, sandy pitch and frequently conceding possession with passes direct to March players. March duly went one-nil up, I can’t remember how. I’ll try to pay more attention next time I’m asked to write the match report.

South slowly began to find our way back into the game, improving our ball speed and passing accuracy and starting to find some space on the wings. One break down the left side saw the ball crossed in for Oli to expertly deflect through the keeper’s legs and ever so slowly roll towards goal beyond the lunges of the despairing chasing defenders

Having levelled the game, South continued to look the more likely team to score and we went into half time in the ascendancy. In the half time talk, Jim reinforced the importance of passing accuracy so South started the second half by passing direct to March sticks. Eventually the message got through that that’s not quite what he meant and we picked up where we left off from our dominance at the end of the first half.

From a speculative March attack, a momentary lapse of concentration saw Jason miss a clearing kick and Rich dived in to save the day with a heroic clearance. Some cynics say that it was cleared with the back of the stick and that the ball had already crossed the line but the umpire clearly saw the truth and waved play on.

South capitalised on this good fortune, Pearson breaking clear on the right and crossing in for Oli to sweep home. After this, South looked safe in the lead and continued to create good chances. John had the opportunity to seal the game when Jim burst through the middle and passed through to the P spot but his shot went just wide.

With less than five minutes remaining, March broke upfield once more and a blocked pass into the D sailed up into the air, looping over the entire South defence and landing at the feet of a March attacker for him to tap home and equalise. This is how the game ended, honours even at two apiece.

In the bar afterwards, Jim drowned his sorrows with non-alcoholic beer (cleverly not disclosed until after the Lemon vote), whilst Colin found the only way to cope was to fantasise about dressing up as a kingfisher and then going and catching a pike (no, I don’t understand either).