The delight when I saw that the postcode for Bishops Stortford's pitch actually matched their location on Google maps was short-lived indeed. On arrival at the venue, a helpful sign told us that this was not the right entrance for vehicles headed to the all-weather pitch, and that we should follow the signs. There were no signs. We got to know this quaint little town rather well over the next twenty minutes. Why are all their road signs aquamarine? More on that later.

The yellow taxi was struggling and with only twenty minutes until the planned push back, we called assistance in the shape of Laura and Serin. "We're behind you! We thought you knew where to go, because we got lost." The pantomime ensued, yellow car followed by blue car, round and round in circles. It turns out you do park at the college, as there is no vehicle access to the pitch at all (BS, please put up a "Park here and walk" sign next time?)

Anyway, a swift 15-minute warm up finally started, in which we packed in sprints, dynamic stretches Miss Cooil-style (thanks, Harriet), collecting lost balls from the bushes, avoiding being squashed by branches falling off trees (no kidding), and even practising many many short corners. Achievement unlocked.

And so the hockey action finally began. It was a well-matched fixture, with some great hockey on show from both sides.

Our last-minute addition, Harriet, and best bud Emma-Rose went for every ball with the tenacity we've come to expect of these ladies. Harriet decided today was the day to give the ground a good cuddle too, earning her a close second-place for Lemon. They were joined in midfield by their hapless stand-in captain, whose legs can't take this anymore, and by a very trustworthy Pippa who sneakily kept herself in just the right position throughout. Solid.

When the ball did get up front, Lou, newbie Hazel (welcome) and Ania were there to follow up, earning several short corners for the team. But it was great team play, leading to a strong strike by Harriet that earned the South Ladies' 2s their one goal of the day. This move was born back in defence by joint star-of-the-day Roisin, who kept everyone honest along the backline. Her joint Woman of the Match win was well-deserved indeed. She was joined by Caroline, who constantly hassled like a pro, Laura, who was the essence of calm, and Serin, who deserved the Lemon win, again, for being hungover and nauseous, again. Experience this one teaches not. And not forgetting the pitch-travelling Lou and Ania who were also in defence, as well as attack (by Portal magic? I hear you exclaim - no, by the cleverness of switching these versatile folk at half-time. Not as exciting, but still cool. Thanks for your versatility, ladies!)

Last but certainly not least, the sharer-of-the-crown, our very own Emma Saynor. That ball was not going in our own goal without a struggle, and although the very good opposition did slot three in, it could have been many more. Emma just kept saving and saving. Fabulous hockey. Poor financial strategy in the current economic climate.

A shout-out too to the side-line support in the shape of sister and daddy Emma-Rose, who were unwavering in their dedication through the rain and shine. Many thanks to Emma's sister for her superb substitution timekeeping - please come again!

In the end, it was a fair result but still an enjoyable game for all. But not as enjoyable as the yellow taxi's car ride home, with Hazel's epic taste in music to accompany the tuneful crooning of Harriet and Naomi. Move over Adele and Ed Sheeran, these lasses will steal your limelight soon. At an even-numbered volume level of course, Harriet.

Oh, and the blue street signs? Google was asked, and Google could not deliver, other than to suggest it meant the whole of Bishop's Stortford had privately-owned roads. Can anyone help settle our curiosity? We certainly saw enough of these signs!