First of all, who changed my name from 'Colin T' to 'Colin Little Finger'??? How long has it been like that for and what's the story behind that one?

At 2.30am I received a text message from one third of our supporters group, Eimear, telling me that she wasn’t able to come. She claims it was a bad back but the timing of the text leads me to suspect it was more likely she was still out celebrating coming last in the CSHC quiz.

I got up at 6.30am (on a Sunday!) and jumped in the shower. I heard my phone receive a text and a glance across the bathroom revealed it was from Rossellini and that it was a long text. I thought to myself that this could only be bad news and, having dried myself sufficiently to cross the bathroom and pick up the phone without the risk of it slipping out of my hand and into the toilet pan, I read the text, which informed me he wasn’t going to come as he was injured. I was angry and my short aggressive reply did the trick into making him feel guilty enough to grow some balls and meet at 8am at Long Road for the arrival of the minibus.

Out of all the people in the team, the one I didn’t expect to be late (as the bus had arrived and his better half was driving said bus) was Pearson, but at twenty minutes past eight he finally arrived and we were on our way down the A1 (having stopped off to collect our umpire, Jan, on the way). The surprising request by Kim to bring Now 37 was granted and we got ourselves pumped up for the match by listening to Hanson’s ‘MMMBop’, Shola Ama’s ‘You Might Need Somebody’ and Eternal’s ‘I Wanna Be the Only One’, which half the team had never heard before. Note – DO NOT try any dance moves when Rossellini is in the vicinity, he is likely to film you looking like a buffoon and will hastily whack it on every WhatsApp group, whether hockey related or not – he caught me doing ‘the worm’.

We arrived at the Surbiton ground, which was bustling with hockey enthusiasts. It really was the Mecca of hockey that we were expecting- two quality pitches, stands, water cannons, a massive club house and excellent quality changing rooms. The corridors were lined with pictures of familiar faces that I had seen playing hockey on the telly. We got changed (Wizard was pondering whether to wear his base layer even though it was 13ºC) and made our way out to the quarter of the pitch we were allocated for thirty minutes warm up time.

So the game got going (after my awful team talk) and we started off really positively with good composure and promise. We had some nice passing play out wide and created some good chances. However it was Surbiton who got the first goal (and the next five in fact) but the first half was really enjoyable and close, the difference being that our opponents were smashing in their chances and we were struggling to do the same with ours. But it really was close and although we were two-nil down at half time we actually thought that we could still turn the game around.

I think the difference between the two sides was fitness, as the second half saw us concede four more goals as our legs slowly started tiring and Surbiton started to dominate. We still managed a lot of chances and the game was really open. However, the superior club (whose L1s and M1s are 55+ places ahead of us in the league ladder) were just too strong for us. We put up a good fight though and it was a great learning experience for the Mixed Team, considering it was our first year in a serious competition.

A special mention to Emma and my wingman, Tom, for some great tackles and general defensive play, and also our goalie Matt, but the whole team deserves credit for our performance in this David v Goliath encounter. Thanks also to Jan for coming to umpire and Laurie for coming to support us (and for the brownies).

The journey home in the bus was also eventful for many reasons! I really think a CSHC minibus would be a great investment, even just for banter on long away fixtures.

I have actually taken the time to rate different aspects of today’s frivolities:

Oh, and here is a quality photo of us about to take the long journey home. Look how happy everyone is despite a six-nil thrashing (especially me!)…