Fresh from David Bridge’s Latin ululations after shipping ten goals last week, a little more classical tearing at hair and beating breasts this week…

Actually, a highly enjoyable match with a wonderful team spirit and display from all fourteen players – with a ten minute highlight just before half time as we scored two goals to bring it back to three-two. Unfortunately the M4 barbarian hordes of Asterix, Obelix, Dogmatix, Getafix, Unhygienix, Cacofonix, Geriatrix, Polytechnix, Analgesix, Picanmix and Vitalstatistix (we’ll let them claim who is who) were stung into action and eight expertly crafted goals later, the annals will say that our standard was well and truly lost. However, Emperor Shahzad is canny enough to appreciate that Rome was not built in a day and our standard can be recovered across the Rubicam against our Nomadic rivals next week. Let’s hope the following leaders are available to repeat their epic heroism and sense of duty…

Attack
Cicero – Andy Thomas’ captaincy recalled the work of Rome’s greatest orator and philosopher statesman as, with calm confidence, he corralled, encouraged and organised his forces to fight with so much presence. He led by example with his two lap warm up before the game but here his persuasive rhetorical charm was singularly lacking with just one follower – does he not know us that well?!
Pompey the Great – Oliver Weston’s dashing display up front lit up the battlefield as he slashed his way through opposition defences again and again. His brace of goals defined his Man of the Match performance and the email accolades from the M4s.

Midfield
Hadrian – Wilco ‘the Wall’ Dijkstra shut out the barbarian masses with a masterful display in the middle ground. He even stood up to the battering ram of Ian’s head.
Lucius Sulla – Luke Bevan was a true general, dictating play with aggression and energy as he broke up opposition forays and tried to prevent the M4s’ territorial gains.
Mark Antony – Nick Georgiadis’ energy and aggression were commanding up the right flank; let’s hope Mrs G can act as Cleopatra to cheer him after this defeat.
Scipio Africanus – Simon Kitchen was briefly taken out by ‘Saffer’ JJ but went on to be the scourge of the M4 midfield – destabilising their offensive moves at every opportunity.
Spartacus – Sebastian Dias’ warrior-like performance epitomised the plucky nature of this selfless display. He ran rings around the officer classes when assisting for the two goals and distributed the wonder pass of the day. Am I mistaken in having heard a Russell Crowe-like exclamation, ‘Are you not entertained?’

Defence
Agricola – Ben Thompson’s Man of the Match ratio dropped to 50% but this British Governor continued to show his style and substance as he frustrated the M4s’ frontline. P.S. only player dressed appropriately in full legionary armour.
Augustus – Shahzad Ali, founding father of the M5 empire, was typically stoic in defence, gracious in defeat, and encouraging to all and sundry.
Constantine – David Bridge gave a commanding performance at left back; his cultured experience (and use of both feet) more than a match for the opposition flank.
Julius Caesar – Ky-sar Ho dictated play with his well-timed interceptions, his sleek distributions and his almost imperial control of proceedings. Is there a conspiracy as to why Ky was wearing Laurie’s name on his back? Beware the Ides of March…
Marius – Garth Wells, like the military strategist, multi-tasked after coaching the next generation of troops, heading home for kit and then returning as a ‘deus ex machina’ to play his part in a well-organised defensive fighting body.
Nero – James Piper, with his customary mad diving around defending against the invading troops, fiddled furiously at Rob Barton’s ankles whilst Greaves, Wood and South shot us down in flames.
Pontius Pilate – Alex Larkinson, mens sana sed non in corpore sano, shone in his moment of glory, dashing up the right wing and supporting the midfield generals. Happy to have helped us to a four-two scoreline at half time he promptly left, seemingly washing his hands of the rest of us…

Bring on the Nomads – carpe diem!