South M4s secured the championship and promotion from Div 6NW(S) with a crisp, cool, sharp performance, similar to the prevailing weather, against a battling St Ives team. Everyone contributed to the five-one win on the day…

GKGT - Successfully transporting MoM, Oli A, to the game. No mean feat as Oli was in the process of waking up and doing his bathroom preparations at the agreed pick-up time. George T also displayed his specialist belly flop approach in a "one-on-seven" situation to snuff out a rare St Ives threat.

Ben W - Tenacious in defence and attack. Turbo-charged.

Rock Radford - Last line of defence. No problem. Nifty sidestep. All part of the service.

JJ - Was it that especially pungent aerosol spray? Was it his constant verbal geeing-up? Was it his Monckosaurus-like thunderbolt passes upfield? Whatever; the only way the opposition would get the ball from him was when he generously passed it, laser-like, directly to them. Across our twenty-three. After instructing teammates to back off so he could have the space to execute that pass. Only once, but that and the aforementioned spray were deemed Lemon-worthy.

Ed "Rolls Royce" Bligh - Making another rare appearance to scurry around effectively. That's him popping up at the back in the pic. And on the pitch. His underpants display upon his "delayed" arrival probably put the opposition off too. All part of the masterplan.

Paul S - Representing the over 60s, and using his "maturity" as an excuse for not retreating five metres at free hits. Umpires are getting wise to this. Great goal though, as he stole up silently to the far post to nudge in our fourth.

Jimmy Lightning - Blistering pace on the left. If only the pitch was a foot longer. His crosses deserved more. Thanks for bringing our loyal group of supporter too, Jimmy.

Jelley - In spite of an injured knee he kept going in the cause. Almost got hit on the head too. Commitment, skill; we like.

Doc Marshman - Medical master of the pre-match warm up. Unobtrusively effective.

Oli A - Dazzling skills and pace. Constant threat. Brilliant solo goal. Deserved MoM, which he celebrated with a slush puppy and beer. Youth of today, eh?

Robby B - Hat-trick hero. One blast from a short corner, one via a CONVENTIONAL (i.e. not reverse stick) thump, and one from close range after one of many great moves to open up the bemused home defence. That and pre-match tactical planning, leadership, and encouragement to all. What does this man have to do to be MoM> Looks like Goal King is a cert though.

Skipper Greaves - Some neat passes, especially for Rob B's first goal; standing in front of the St Ives goalkeeper to enable Paul S to sneak round; a bang on the knee; some noisy stick tackles. Another day at the office.

St Ives were magnanimous in defeat, clapping us off at the end, and the teas were up to their usual high standard. Happy days.