So…WE DID IT!!!!! We are the official champions of Division 5NW(S)! What a journey it’s been, and to say we’re all completely chuffed is an understatement. Roll on next season!

The match prep started with a bit of confusion from Laurie’s crazy new attempt at subbing; there were diagrams, a lot of explanations and even more blank faces. The system was that quirky it definitely warranted a few lemon votes. Nonetheless, anxious to earn the glory of our looming championship, we muddled on through and hit the ground in a pretty discombobulated fashion, to say the least.

Yet, just three minutes in, Lauren scores a beauty! Our spirits were lifted but Newmarket were putting up a fight. They were not prepared to suffer another eight-nil defeat, which they had endured the week prior. Tuffers gets a goal a few minutes later and Lauren slips in another, all in the first twenty minutes.

However, Newmarket then broke through and with our defence collapsed, Newmarket smashed a goal in to narrow the margin; us defenders felt about as useful as Donald Trump’s tiny hands trying to open a pickle jar.

Half time struck and it’s safe to say that Loopy gave us the kick up the back-side we all needed. We were 3-1 up but we knew we could do better. So after some choice words, scrumdiddlyumptious Tangfastics, and a rejig of our attitude, we came back as the femme fatales we’ve grown to become, ready to show Newmarket what we were truly made of. Ash even decided to go rogue and wear her subbing bib around her neck to shake things up, yet the umpires didn’t seem to agree… Still, it made Ash a very worthy Lemon winner.

We were back in the game. There was beautiful passing around the back (initiated by Meg) and everyone had stepped up to create some incredible spaces and lines. Hayley, Aoife and Tuffers were working in tandem to perform some balletic hockey; it was almost perfectly choreographed as they danced around the opposition. However, Olivia was our stand out performer. Her tireless effort up the wings and tenacious tackling raised the game. Like a hawking eagle ready to snipe her prey, she set up the goals for those in the D ready to strike. She quite rightly was our Man of the Match and general super-hero; well done, you legend!

Just two minutes in, Lauren scores the hat-trick and enforces our rediscovered confidence in ourselves. Our defence definitely stepped up its game and refuted Newmarket’s continued efforts to score. They were no match for our obstinance and resolve. Next, Emily gets her own slice of goal-pie (you’ll need to forgive me for the lack of details as again, sitting in centre-back and being blinded by the winter sun, my super-human eyesight was having a day off). I can remember however that the final two goals were from our wonderful Tuffers, first from a short corner then finally going in for the strike in the final minute. The team erupted in celebrations and the final score was brought up to a brilliant seven-one.

The whistle blew and victory was ours. The votes for MOM reflected the hard work across the team and only encouraged our celebrations. Commencing at Cantabs and carrying on to Ani’s, we learned exactly who would win between a hamster and a guinea pig, that whales don’t like it rough, and that that yes, you do need to store your kitchen roll under geckos.

After some important Annual Dinner boat race practice, it was on to All Bar One for more events I can’t recall, though I’m sure they were phenomenal. Dani, who had been relentlessly cheering from the sidelines and managing the subbing with such proficiency, still scored in the D where she found her mojo instead in the magical Lola Lo’s. Who doesn’t love a cheeky 3am romance?

All in all, it was a marvelous occasion and I think all of our sore heads this morning echo our steam-rolling efforts for this season. Now to carry on our undefeated record for the final matches!