The Fens Have Eyes

Matt Saint-Gower


James Menzies and his VC Shin, along with thirteen other members of the family (team), are heading for the match in their chosen rides. A game of hockey strands them in the fens and while two of the men go for help, the others are forced to wait and play. They're unaware that they've ended up stuck near the site where, decades earlier, nuclear tests gave rise to a group of savage fenland monsters who have developed a taste for human flesh.

October in March, it’s all very confusing!

Ten lessons learnt from our trip to the fens.

  1. It feels like a very long drive to get to March.
  2. Ash Artaman’s car is indeed extremely comfortable and very much like being in something from the Jetsons; I fully recommend the massage seats!
  3. It is okay to warm up with very loud music blasting out from the half way line – Darude’s Sandstorm greeted us, which was appropriate given the pitch.
  4. Apparently, I can be very intimidating and seem to make people go weak at the knees. This is very much a shock and surprise to me indeed.
  5. Clintons and the Card Factory would be very wise to open up branches here: there seemed to be very many being exchanged throughout the game. How pleasant.
  6. Mariano is a brilliant woodsman and I think he should audition for a part in a Snow White panto. His axe-chopping skills are just too great for words. The umpire even gave him a card to congratulate him on these.
  7. It can all get a bit physical and we learnt many interpretations of the laws on the day.
  8. The showers are very much like Long Road: they flood and Toms Anns is seen revealing everything.
  9. You get served burger and chips for teas. Very nice and thank you.
  10. The M2’s although we got beaten today, are growing as a great bunch of lads and into a very strong team. We had enough opportunities and maybe should have scored three or four ourselves today. I honestly believe that when March come to Long Road, we will very kindly show them how strong we really are.


You must be logged in to comment.

If you haven't created an account yet, you can sign up here.

Matt Saint-Gower
Man of the Match

Amazing saves. Kept us in it for ages

Mariano Rosenzvaig
Lemon of the Match

Chilean axe-chopping skills