A Saturday in the Life of Jeans Bailey

Jenny Taylor

Little did James Bailey know when he got up on this rainy Saturday morning that he would have a rough day and zombie-filled night. Arriving at Long Road he was eager to umpire together with an umpire East London had surprisingly brought along. Guy graciously gave up his umpiring spot so James could show off his skills.

The match started well for South who put a lot of pressure on their London opposition. James could definitely see that these teams were on eye level and were both fighting for a win. South wanted to get to the upper middle and East London wanted to stay at the top of the league. Inspired by the England rugby team’s win in the semi-finals that morning, South (and especially Ellie at centre back) went into the tackles with full force. The rain was getting worse but South were doing well to show off their wonderful use of triangles with Aoife, Lauren and Rebecca down the right wing. We looked dangerous on the break and won a short corner inside the first half. East London’s keeper made a great save to deny Izzy’s drag flick. James was thinking to himself how great it would have been for him to not be wearing water absorbing jeans in this weather.

Memorable moments of the match include a well placed ball to Jess F, who crossed it over to Izzy in the D who smashed it just past the post. Ellie made a goal line save. East London’s keeper and one of their defender’s had a pile up at one point in the first half. Dani A also attempted to steal the ball off East London at one point, to which their captain took objection and branded the move ‘The most ridiculous thing she had ever seen.’ Some might say a slight overreaction. James watched the whole exchange with amusement. Mary went on a run up the wing and chipped the ball over about five players’ sticks. Jess F went one-v-one with the keeper, beat the keeper and everyone saw the goal coming…only it didn’t. We were unlucky not to have been awarded a flick. James thought this would be a great moment to stop the time and rush over to the other umpire. The entire team thought he had come to discuss the penalty corner/flick issue, but he was only asking for the time. Lesson learnt. Smart watches are not very smart if a rain drop hits them.

East London’s goal came in the first half after South faced some difficulty coming out of their sixteen and East London used their opportunity well. There was nothing Loopy could have done about it. South could have definitely scored more often than East. West and North looked dark and rainy.

The big question of the day was how the cacti council would react to James bringing home a citrus fruit before he’d even played himself. He would go on and drown his sorrows over the L2s’ loss and get kicked out of various pubs before dropping his cactus costume.

Man of the Match votes were split between Lauren, newbie Mary, Izzy, Jess F, Aoife and Rebecca. The overall winner was Lauren for making a number of crucial tackles and a great work rate.

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Lauren Coates
Player of the Match

Crucial tackles and work rate

James Bailey
Lemon of the Match

Jeans Bailey with his less-than-smart watch