Unlike last week, which included both dirty sheets and a dirty car, the M3s were in form against the bottom of the table side.

Summary from the sidelines:

• Bourne Deeping pressed hard, George making twenty-plus saves in the first half to rightfully earn himself MoM. One particular save included him doing the splits.
• Against the tide, Jimmy managed to run 100m down the pitch (even though the pitch isn’t 100m long…unbelievable!) to secure a one-on-one with the opposition’s keeper, deftly flicking it over his head as he ran out. 6/10.
• Jonny, hopelessly still trying to chase Goal King despite his distinctly average 9 goals for the season, managed a reverse stick shot from the top of the D. Scuffing it slightly, it rolled under the opposition keeper’s pads. 4/10.
• Tom, not knowing he had scored, quickly acted to protect himself as a rocket came into the D from Jimmy. A doink and a deflection earning himself a goal and an over-the-top celebration including an attempted backflip followed by some kind of robot dance. The sideline judged this 2/10.
• Chalky, inspired by the performance of his teammates, managed what could possibly be the best goal seen by Cambridge South this season. Showing some impressive individual skills including a v-drag, a ‘Jack Chalk patented spinny-thing’ and flattening one of the opposition’s players with a shoulder duke, he placed the ball into an open net. The Bourne Deeping keeper looking in dismay at his shell-shocked defence, now most likely suffering from PTSD. 10/10.
• George A, deciding enough was enough and to put the game to an end, managed to shell another screamer into the net. Some quick passes between himself and Jimbo (who shouldn’t have been that far up the pitch) put himself in prime position for a cheeky placement in the corner of the goal. Learning from Tom’s mistakes, no celebration was made. 5/10.

Five-nil and an unbelievable story to cap off Team Hubris.