A game that threatened to end in a bore-draw turns sour for South. 

It had been nearly all South in the opening quarter of an hour, with the visitors gaining a foothold by camping out on the halfway and enjoying plenty of possession into the Uni’s half. South appeared competent in their patience when transferring across the back four, perhaps a little too patient as long periods of control, punctuated by the flair of Cal Middleton (MoM) and industry of Sam Highfield, did not bring much joy in and around the ‘D’. 

Nat Farrant's men were unable to capitalise on that promising start though with opportunities being few and far between. The only clear chances of note being a couple of shorts and a sliding doors moment for Chalky that Captain Highfield was still muttering about at last orders that evening. South’s frustrations were perhaps most epitomised by a total train crash of a ‘tackle’ from Ed ‘Smiling Assassin’ Doust that would have made even Joe Marler wince. To be fair, if Joe Marler was playing opposite a slight teenager less than half his size the result would have been similar, if more expected. 

But the match turned almost straight from a ridiculously poor umpiring mistake that I can only assume is Cal Middleton’s fault for showing his ability to move the ball in ways most don’t understand, confusing the umpire so comprehensively when he managed to ricochet the ball off an attacker’s shin pads so fast that it was clearly not a foul. The resulting play led to a textbook deflected short corner goal.  

1-0 Uni.

Man of the match: the often lost in Stoke-on-Trent Cal Middleton for umpire-busting sleight of hand

Lemon: Ed Doust. It could only have been Ed. He clattered a child.