Do you remember when we were younger and people would ask “what do you want to be when you grow up”, most kids would say “scientist!” or “Rockstar!” But not me, I wasn’t like other kids, when people asked my what I wanted to be when I grow up I knew, I wanted to be a Cambridge South M1s player. 

I would often picture myself playing alongside my heroes, players like HL7 or James Bailey. So when the opportunity presented itself, 6 years ago I joined Cambridge South in pursuit of my dreams. I started in the M2s hoping to build my way up after a year, only to be shunned by the cruel captain of the time Harry Chalk. I begrudgingly accepted my place in the 2s/3s knowing that as Harry continued to grow old someone would eventually come along to replace him and recognise what I could offer. So when he retired a few years later at the ripe old age of 30 it felt like my dreams were finally coming true. These dreams were quickly shattered when Sam Highfield of all people (a man with equally archaic views who was at best tolerated by his teammates) was chosen as Harry’s successor. 

After this I had all but given up hope on ever achieving my dreams. I had given everything to this club, showing up to over 40% of the training sessions and playing upwards of 10 games a season, with no recognition of my sacrifice. Until one day I heard the news, Sam had stepped down and a new younger, more dynamic captain had taken his place. A Mr Will Townley, ‘it can’t be’ I thought, the M1s entrusting someone with energy as their captain? Someone who wasn’t visibly afraid to pass the ball forwards? Now this is exciting. All of a sudden a letter comes through the door. A simple piece of paper inside reading only 4 words “M1’s game, be there” signed “WT”. This was it I was finally getting my moment! I was going to be an M1s player! I was filled with excitement, resting was difficult but I managed to eventually put myself to sleep thinking about the M1s play style from the last few years.

All of a sudden it was the morning! The big day was here, I stressed thinking what would an M1s player do in the morning to prepare for a big game. Would they watch highlights for the Belgian, German or Dutch leagues? When would they put their socks in the oven to ensure they were suitably warm for the game, should they have been in overnight? Who knows, but it was too late to worry about that now, I was in the car with the one and only Nik Patel on my way to the match. I had countless questions for him, rattled off one after the other, but all he did was smirk and say “I remember my first time”, god is everyone in the M1s this cool?

Seeing Sam reminded me they are not but still it was exciting to be there. The tunes were playing, the tactics were discussed, we did 3 LAPS! as a warmup, and before we knew it the game had started. The ball jetted around the pitch like a bullet and yet was collected so comfortably by each player. “Just don’t screw up, don’t screw up” is all I could think. Shortly after this I screwed up, but as time went on I felt more and more comfortable in the game. This game was a pressure cooker, with neither side letting up until Sam, the man I have done nothing but insult throughout this report took the ball on a delightful run along the baseline and in true poetic fashion the previous captain passed the torch (ball) onto his new captain for Will to do what Sam struggles so often with, put it in the net. 1-0 South. Unfortunately Saffron Walden immediately bounced back to equalise and the pressure continued to build. But you know what they say about pressure, it makes diamonds, the diamond in this case being a rocket from HL7 into the roof of the net to make it 2-1 South. They say never meet your heroes kids, but those people have clearly never met Harry Lewis. Once again however Saffron Walden equalised again to make it 2-2, this game was far from over.

I could barely contain my excitement at the intensity of this game, but all I could think was how could I stand out here. I had to look tough for these guys, so I took a tip from the movies, find the toughest guy on the pitch and start a fight with him… The toughest guy was quite large so through a slight change of tactic I opted to attack a child, choose your battles and all that. Unfortunately on reviewing the Veo I chose poorly as I still in fact lost this fight and subsequently got an almost unanimous LOM for it. I did however stand out. Clearly though this vicious scrap rattled the opposition as shortly after they conceded an own goal, we took the lead and shortly after the win! Celebrations were had by all as we started off the season in perfect form. My record this season now sitting at:

Total games - 1
M1 games - 1 
Wins - 1
LOMs - 1

I don’t know about you but I think that’s pretty good. My dream had finally come true, but the season has only just started, will this be my only game for the 1s? Will I get more? Who knows, what we do know is my hat is officially in the ring for M1s Player of the Season...