The Joyce Frankland Academy do not condone excessive nudity in the showers. An odd rule, but one immediately broken by socks on boobs out herself, big Han. She got some LoM votes for that, but ultimately I was the winner because apparently 100 games for the L1s means you’re the lemon. Kim wrote a limerick, which can be shared on request and Evie made three stunning cakes in the shape of 100 (assisted by Big Jo). Very kind, feeling the love (minus the lemon vote).

Writing a match report about this game is challenging at best, we won 1-0 and had some really nice moments, but it’s not the best performance we have put in. Either way, 3 points secured and Evie’s stress levels can return to normal. Saffron Walden were very kind and scored the goal for us, Izzy P had the final touch before the defender kicked it in.

The first half ended 0-0 with half time instructions of really complex hockey tactics such as, put a name on the pass, meet the ball and stop being lazy and get your head over the ball. A new flavour of squashies was introduced to a generally positive reception. The second half was considerably better than the first, Saffron Walden kept us on our toes until the end, but we did settle and had some decent periods of play. The final whistle went and we were all relieved to see the end of the game. Especially Tim, who treated us to some of his famous deeeeeep stress squats. Maddy was crowned unanimous MoM for a 10/10 performance and 10/10 hairstyling.

The real excitement of the day came from teas (with cake), discussion of L1s pasta and movie night the following week, and shower club (with nudity to be kept to a minimum). Kim, now renamed Kimbledon for her collection of Wimbledon attire, announced that she had not been allowed to bring her preferred holdall to the game (leather, embossed with CWP), and instead had to settle for a canvass number. Thoughts and prayers for Kim please. There was then further discussion of a binary rating system for the showers this season (thank you to the L6s for the rating system). The rating for SW is as follows:

Temperature 1/1

Water Pressure 1/1

Sociability 0/1

Number of showers 1/1

Drainage 1/1

Consistency 0/1*

Cleanliness 1/1

(Bonus category – acceptability of nudity 0/1)

5/8

*consistency being the individual quality of the shower. Two were questionable, one sprayed the wall outside of the cubicle rather than anyone in it. Encouraging excessive nudity if you ask me…