A dreary and rainy day in Cambridge saw Cambridge south take on Potters Bar at the fortress. A team we have never defeated, last time out getting completely outplayed under the confused leadership of a former great, James Bailey, while our then captain, Harry Chalk, gallivanted around Oz during the season.

Would the boys fair better with this younger more dynamic squad, with our new noble leader, Will Townley. As I'm primarily not going to write about the game, I'll answer this one for you quickly... YES, the boys did fair better, much better! In the 4 years between this weekends fixture and our previous encounter the lads turned a 5-0 loss into a 5-0 win. The youthful (Lindars, Jude and Matteo) bagging 3 of the 5, Harry Lewis scoring the first and last of proceedings rounding his total tally for CSHC M1s to 100. The celebration for the century of goals looked to the opposition like a huge over-celebration that simply wasn't necessary, apologies Potters Bar!

Today though I'm taking match reports back to our favourite: categories!

I'll run us through our squad members on which social media platform they would be if they were one.

Dave Potter
Now this bloke is edgy, so Dave wouldn't be your standard social media platform, he'd be one that you've never heard of unless you're the type of guy who has vinyl, shops exclusively in vintage shops and only watches foreign language TV shows. For this reason Dave is Sina Weibo, China's Answer to X (twitter).

Mark Inman
Mark is really old! so naturally I've googled the oldest social media platform, talkomatic, considered the first online chatroom. This seems apt for a man that does love to talk.

Ed Doust and Pudds
Ed and Pudds are frustratingly nice guys, they like to be helpful, as demonstrated by the vast amount they do for the club, so I annoyingly have to select a social media platform with the least amount of toxicity that I can. So for Ed and Pudds I've gone with pinterest, the nice guy of social media platforms.

Harrsion
A man of mystery, Harrison gives nothing away. Every pass he plays is disguised, much like his facial expressions. I know very little about Harrison so have had to go with a platform I know very little about. Tencent QQ, even after goggling it, still no idea.

Will Townley
Has to be X. When you first get an account on X/Twitter it seems like a wonderful place where you can watch cool videos, read interesting blogs, keep up to date in current affairs, the lot... simply a great app that can do everything and it becomes your favourite app. Much like Will, can do it all on the pitch and what a nice guy, everyone's favourite. But then as you get to know X/Twitter/Will you start to realise their darker side, a side that is ready to stab you in the back. The snakiest app for the snakiest man!

Sam H and Lindars
Teachers that just love asking and answering questions. 
Sam H gets Yahoo answers
Lindars gets Quora because it's a younger and better version of yahoo answers.

Connor
I can't really explain it, but Connor just seems like a Discord kinda guy.

Matteo
TikTok - yes primarily because he is young, and this is a young persons app. Matteo seems like the kind of guy that has to post his own version of every trending TikTok dance, because that's what it takes to be cool in the youth of today. I'd imagine Matteo posts are akin to one Robert Lewandowski.

Jude
Have to keep researching new social media platforms... Jude gets Threads. Threads is a new and exciting social media platform, just as Jude is a new and exciting addition to the team. Hope the shoulder gets better quickly!

Harry Lewis
Harry Lewis, the poshest man in the team, usually donning a Crew polo and a Nautica jumper as if he is about to jump onto a sail boat at any moment. For these reasons Harry is Gettr, a newly established app for the conservatives of America.

Jack Humby
As one of only two players older than me in the squad, I have to use this opportunity to brand Humby as something old, so Jack gets MySpace. For all you young people, MySpace was basically the original Facebook, but it was better because you automatically got one friend called Tom! Humby was so happy to have Tom as a friend.

Clement Robert
YouTube - He's great, he's diverse, he really does everything. Clement is part of the YouTube generation, combined with the fact that I would bet Clement has watched every single Jeroen Hertzberger video at least 10 times means Clement is the YouTube of our team.

Oscar Wilson-Toy
Oscar is all show, fancy tricks, flair dribbling, aerials and disguise passes. When you watch Oz play hockey it's like watching the best bits of hockey 100% of the time. For this reason Oz gets Instagram, the app where you only see the best bits of people's lives. 

Nik Patel
Now Nik would love to see himself as BeReal, a young app that is cool and trendy. Popular among the relevant people of today. Of course though this just isn't Nik, Nik is more like snapchat, a largely outdated app that was once popular but is slowly but surely being forgotten about. Snapchat also has a slightly creepy side, not unlike Nik's alter-ego, Hans.

Other notable mentions
Scott - also instagram - he may be the true living embodiment of the app
Chalky - MetOffice - i know it's not social media, but he just is
Pearson - Farmville - almost social media
Stanley - Parler 
Bailey - Reddit - because that app is just carnage
Tim Winter - LinkedIn - the man is all business
Schu - Tumblr - because one day it just disappeared