If there’s one thing we learned on our away day adventure, it’s that the drive to Long Sutton was way more entertaining than the hockey. A painfully early leave time (for me) and a car powered by enough sugar to fuel a small nation meant that by the time we hit the Fens, the vibes were already chaotic. The Fens, by the way, were teeming with “exotic” wildlife sightings, courtesy of our resident David Attenborough, El.

The first headline-worthy moment? “Ostriches Ostriches!” Screamed El, to which then the rest of the car looked out the window to see a woman running after two gigantic birds in a field. Classic Saturday morning. Next came “those fat ducks!” which, upon closer inspection, were actually pheasants. And as if the animal kingdom couldn’t get any wilder, a heron made an appearance, just chilling by the side of the road, alive and well. 

But eventually, we arrived at Long Sutton for the main event: the hockey match itself. Clearly we hadn’t woken up yet because, Long Sutton scored almost immediately, catching us off guard as we were still waking up. Cue Avi yelling, “El!! Player behind you!!” Did she react? Not really. Acknowledged the call? Sort of, with a vague nod. Her excuse? She thought the player was “just grass.” Yes, El was “marking” the field’s foliage. Clearly, Long Sutton’s camo-green kit was working, and Specsavers might want to give El a ring (love you capt).

After that rocky start, we pulled it together and started to play some genuinely fantastic hockey. Our midfield – Vinnie, Ruth, Becky D, Lou, and Meg – worked their socks off, intercepting and distributing like pros. Up front, Esther (making her 4s debut!), Bex, and Naomi hustled nonstop, using the baseline and creating endless chances. Our short corners gave Long Sutton plenty to worry about, and we finally broke through in the second half when Lou found the back of the net with a beautiful strike, leveling the score and giving us a massive boost.

Half-time sweets had powered us up for a strong second half, and we continued to show off our skills: 1-2-1s, triangles, transfers, and textbook pivots. Our back-and-round play was on point with the defence El, Avi, and Julie and we kept our width.

But Long Sutton wasn’t done. In the dying moments of a penalty corner, a chaotic scuffle broke out in front of our goal after a rebound strike, and they managed to sneak in a second goal. It was one of those scrappy finishes that no one likes but somehow counts just the same.

The umpires even said we were the better team, but the scoreboard just wasn’t feeling it. Typical L4s luck.

Post-match, we found the day’s true victory in the form of hearty jacket potatoes and homemade bakes. With full bellies, we hit the road home, unsure if we were sugar-high or just completely delulu. El’s car further proved that we were certified yappers, and failed ostriche spotting on the way home. Too many quotes, too many to remember. Lots of “No Mega Incinerator” signs, which proved in our poll we are indifferent. 

In the end, Player of the Match went to Lou for her relentless effort and fantastic goal, while Lemon of the Match? Naturally, that was El, for her impeccable skill in “marking” the grass.