All was quiet at the Cambridge university sports ground. A tense animosity hung in the air, as the long-anticipated rivalry for the bottom of the league table was soon to be underway. The Nomads 2s were to face off with the Cambridge South 4s: the ultimate showdown.

The harsh, unforgiving gale battered the protagonists as they commenced their warm-up on the slippery and treacherous sports track. Despite the dire weather, our heroes’ morale remained unshaken, as Sam enthusiastically supported them through their Olympic-level stretching routine. Sam, already knowing the victorious outcome of the battle, felt no desire to stay and watch the game, thus earning him one of the infamous lemons of the match.

Moments before the pushback, Jack proclaimed: ‘This is a big game’. Fuelled by this wave of motivation, Cambridge 4s came out strong, making the nomads look sloppy and disorganised. Not long into the half, Joe W expertly brought the team into the lead with a goal from a penalty corner. Soon after, with potentially a little bit of devious footwork and oblivious refereeing, the 4s were able to extend their lead with a scrappy goal as Jamie was able to scramble for the ball and score. Driven with rage, the nomads managed to claim a goal back, with the most deceptive shot in history from the baseline, which left Joe L confused and Pash with his hands on his head. They were lost for words.

With a lead at the start of the second half, they 4s put their earlier concession behind them and dominated with a flurry of 3 goals. Following the surge of goals, the 4s were on fire. Seb’s standout performance was poetically described as having ‘Sexual energy in the midfield’ which won him the prestigious man of the match. the 4s obtained many short and long corners, but none of them found the goal.

 With fatigue setting in near the end of the game, the nomads were able to fight back, where an opposition player was able to score with a drag flick which just slipped past Joe L during a penalty flick. Further blunders were seen as Gabe W took his love for dribbling a step too far and decided unsuccessfully to try to dribble through the opposition when in the D, which resulted in him earning the second lemon of the match. Nevertheless, the team was able to hold off the assaults of the nomads, particularly Martin G who was described as a ‘brick wall’ by Jordan for his defending.

As the final whistle blew, the 4s had one more problem: solving the final scoreline.

The Cambridge south M4 team was suffering from success.