As we celebrated the Chinese Lunar new year on Wednesday, what an opportunity to review everyone’s zodiac animal and how I think they’d fare in the Emperor’s race as we welcome in the year of the Snake. 

*disclaimer, not all animals below are in the Chinese zodiac*

Harry - Rat 

The controversial winner of the zodiac race. Harry is leading the way in the top goal scorers chart, mainly from nipping in just ahead of defenders as the rat demonstrated in the race. 

Stanley - Ox 

Stanley is a lovely guy, representing the Ox he deserved to win the zodiac race if it wasn’t for being overtaken by the rat at the last minute. 

Ed - Tiger

Strong and powerful, the tiger finished 3rd in the zodiac. Consistent as ever, didn’t put a foot wrong all game. 

Tim - Rabbit

Big feet. Two goals and a fantastic diving deflection to top off a great performance. 

Connor - Dragon

The only mythical creature in the zodiac, Connor has been on a hot streak of form recently and would finish strongly in the zodiac race. Topping it off with a goal and second POTM in a row. 

Will - Snake

The obvious choice, cunning, elegant and dangerous. With no negative connotations at all. In Harry Potter, Slytherine famously represent the snake and the core values of ambition, resourcefulness and determination. 

Pearson - Horse

A proper workhorse, many years of toiling the earth have sculpted Pearson into a dependable, hard working hockey player. 

Ben - Spinner dolphin

Like a beyblade, when Ben lets rip, nothing is stopping him. Might not be in the Chinese zodiac, but if it was it’d have a good chance of winning the race. Starting off the scoring today with a great interception. 

Harrison - Sheep

The sheep, the monkey and the rooster worked together in the zodiac race by building a raft together. Harrison represents the sheep due to his calm nature and consistency on the pitch. 

Shoey - Monkey 

Our resident cheeky chappy, Shoey loves a dad joke. I can see the flute being incorporated into the raft, helping them to the finish line. 

Sam - Cockerel

After Sam’s claim of scoring 30 goals this season got off to a slow start, with 2 in his last 3 is this the start of his run to 30? Maybe not such a cocky claim after all? Still plenty of games left. 

Scott - Spider

Scott has such a long reach on the hockey pitch, it sometimes feels as if he has additional limbs. Whenever you feel like you’ve dribbled past him, he’ll somehow hook the ball from straight under you. 

Mark - Hippo 

Possibly the biggest derrière in the animal kingdom? Mark utilises it expertly on the pitch but maybe it’d get in the way in the zodiac race. 

Nik - Goldfish from Ted Lasso

Some googling tells me there’s a goldfish in ted lasso? It’s Nik’s favourite show so if you want to hear more look to his recent match report (probably due to be released in the next week or two).