Step 1:

Wake up bright and early (5:30AM for Jess, and anywhere between 8-10:30AMfor the rest of the team). Either way, wake up significantly earlier than meet time.

 

Spend these early hours complaining about the 3:30 PM push back to anyone that will listen. If you’re feeling particularly annoyed, remind everyone that we’re also playing away in Peterborough at 4 PM on the 1st of March.

 

Reminisce over morning games.

 

Step 2:

Read Tim’s line up and pre-game essay (no hate, we actually love these).

 

Step 3:

Get dressed (hockey kit optional at this hour). However, it is vital to get ready as an L1s player. Specific order of clothing: purple pants, socks, leggings, shoes, bra then top. Thank you Hannah, never change. Please note, we’re still trying to convince season newbie, Tildy on this order.

 

Fleeces encouraged.

 

Step 4:

Arrive at Kerryn’s – 11 AM sharp for pre-game analysis and pre-game fuelling.

Here we recommend a full spread for brunch. Whilst the L1s love the theatre of eggs and soldiers, on this occasion we opted for banana bread appetisers and waffles as the main. Note: As athletes, the L1s recognise the importance of incorporating protein into the diet – therefore a side of bacon, yoghurt and/or (spread by bonne mannan: chocolate and) hazelnuts are encouraged.

 

Include vital conversation. CSHC athletes live and breathe hockey, therefore all pregame chat must be centred on sport. We suggest the following sports-related conversation topics: Olympians you once competed with at school (and how strange it is we weren’t all similarly scouted, despite our impressive commitment to our athletic lifestyles); what winter Olympic tickets you might want to get; and what is the least relevant Olympic sport (one step ahead, Hannah suggests that Netball shouldn’t be an Olympic sport – good thing it’s not).

 

This is also a good time for any snowcial secretaries to remind the team to buy tickets for upcoming hockey-related socials.

 

Step 5:

Mental preparation. The L1s understand the psychology of being part of a team – we need to think as one.

Games can be changed or adapted for any team. However, the L1s have identified that Herd Mentality is a particularly good game for mental alignment. For example: Best meal of the day? Brunch; If you were a tree, what would you be? Acorn, also known as oak; Name something slippery? Kerryn’s floor (multiple answers accepted). You get the gist, think like an L1s player.

 

We can also recommend newly expanded round of the L1s signature game ‘good clap, bad clap’, namely ‘good moo, bad moo’. It was a bad moo Hannah. Tildy, not much better.

 

Step 6:

This is the perfect opportunity to bond as a team, by reiterating how late 3:30PM is for a hockey game.

 

Refueling on more waffles is optional at this point.

 

Step 7:

Forget the kit bag.

Step 8:

Head, fully carb loaded to Wilberforce road. Comment on how no one managed to follow the most direct route from Kerryn’s to the pitch. L1s have impeccable sense of direction

 

Step 9:
Take an emergency diversion back home for kit bag mentioned in Step 7. (This step may be omitted if preferred. However, this may mitigate your opportunity to earn lemon.)

 

Step 10:

Take this opportunity to hype up your team. If any major milestones have been reached by a team member (e.g. Loopy’s 300th game for the L1s), wait another 3 games before celebrating. Congratulations Loopy, enjoy your prosecco dinner.

 

It is also important at this point to re-read (or summarise) Tim’s pregame essay.

Step 11:
Head to the pitch for a warm up led by anyone who is willing. This week we followed Hannah.

The L1s highly recommend incorporating extra games into the warm up to improve hand eye coordination. This can be anything from playing catch, to running through the Cambridge uni shooting team practice. For an extra L1’s tip, aggressively warm up by the entrance to the pitch and deny the opposition easy access. Make eye contact whilst ‘feeding the chickens’ for some extra spice.

Step 12

Take advice from our M4s playing beforehand. Win a short corner, score a goal.

 

Note: On this occasion the L1s did not win any short corners.

 

Step 13:

Warm up using the balls from the rescued kit bag in Step 9.

 

Step 14:

Play a hockey game (at 3:30 PM)

 

This week: CSHC L1s vs City L4s.

 

Keep it simple. Follow Tim’s pregame advice, keep possession, and whilst obvious to some teams, the L1s would like to remind you here, that the aim of the game is to put the ball in the goal.

 

Step 15:
Huddle for a half time team talk. Use this time to adjust strategies to get the ball in the goal. Idea’s from L1s include: enter the D and then score.

 

This is also a key moment to reenergise. L1’s as a team recommend squashies. L1’s vice, Kate does not recommend mini eggs - those are to be consumed off the pitch.

 

Step 16:

End of the game on a classic L1s 1:1 draw.*

 

*Same protocols apply for win/loss. Wins are recommended and preferred.

 

This week’s stats: CSHC L1s vs CCHC L4s:

- D entries = many (± 1)

- Shots on target = 1

- Goals = 1, scored by NZ legend Therese. (100% success rate for L1s)

- Goals against = 1

- Goals saved = 303? (<100% success rate for City = great game for POM Loopy)

- Final score 1:1

 

L1s draws can often feel like a win - celebrate accordingly.

 

Step 17:

Head back to the changing rooms and evaluate the showers. Follow the L6s binary scoring system.

 

Step 18:
Carb load at teas. This is essential to restart the week. Training is a mere few days away, and Tim is desperate for an L1s win - be prepared.

 

If you don’t want to eat for whatever reason (such as your husband cooking steak at home), please give teas to Alice.

Step 19:
Leave kit bag from step 7 under someone else’s responsibility and head home.
Eat any remaining waffles in the house and rehydrate with a glass of wine.

Step 20:

Write the match report after said glass of wine.

 

 

Fine print:

None of what is mentioned has been scientifically proven to improve performance.

 

8/14 girls agreed that following the L1 pregame buildup helped their hockey.

 

No professional advice has been given to the L1s regarding their lifestyles.

 

Following advice from L1s is up to readers discretion (but highly recommended for team bonding)