South M2s 5–1 Victory: A Performance Worth Stealing the Headlines

Aspiring journalist Tom Steed somehow managed to miss another major breaking story, and this one was a beauty: a commanding 5–1 win for the South M2s, delivered with confidence, quality, and just a touch of mischief.

In fact, it seems the M2s have been stealing quite a lot lately…

The M2s’ Recent Heist List
Ben L – An unbelievable game between the posts. Rumour has it he may have stolen George T’s spot.

Alex B – Secured such a big discount at the Y1 store that some are calling it daylight robbery.

Harrison – Produced an outrageous slap that looked like it came straight out of a competitive slapping championship.

Rob – Played so well the 1s have stolen him for next weekend - MoM

Ollie W – Known for stealing a quick single early on in the innings.

Hendo – Appears to have stolen the upper body of the world’s strongest man.

John W – Steals the ball off opposition players more times than one can keep track of.

Andy W – Continues to steal women’s hearts up and down the country.

Jim H – Stole the smile clean off the Bourne Deeping captain’s face with that result.

Gando – Somehow managed to steal the green card straight out of the umpire’s pocket.

Jacko – Left the crowd breathless after a brilliantly constructed team goal.

CCR/Jack – Both fought to claim a goal that was already rolling in. CCR stole it from Jack… who had already stolen it from an unnamed teammate.

Ash K – Much like the Louvre once lost France’s Crown Jewels, Ash managed to steal Andy’s. (It wasn’t even that bad.)

A strong scoreline, a strong performance, and a strong collection of stolen property. All in all, a very successful afternoon for the M2s.

Police have confirmed they are not investigating, as the M2s are expected to steal three more points next week.