To celebrate the end of the first half of the season, we invited a celebrity guest to give us an account of the 1s progress so far…

Cambridge South Hockey Club lost their match against Ipswich. SAD. Stanley tried to drain the Swamp but the Swamp fought back. Will was tremendous. He did a tremendous job. Nobody can captain like he can captain but we were a man down as one of our best, very good players was sick. VERY SICK! TERRIBLE!

But our previous match was the win of the season, and let me tell you, it was a beautiful thing. Maybe the most beautiful win in the history of hockey!
For years—some people say centuries—people have been waiting for this. We went to the pitch, we saw the fans, and the energy was incredible. BIG LEAGUE ENERGY! While some other teams were losing—very sad, very weak—our winners went out there and they dominated. They moved the ball like you wouldn’t believe. People are calling it the "Great Victory of Long Road."

So to all the haters and the losers after our match against Ipswich, don't worry, we're going to make Cambridge South great again. We’re going to build a wall around the D—a big, beautiful wall—and the opposition is going to pay for it. We’re going to win so much in 2026 you’re going to get tired of winning. BELIEVE ME!