As everyone knows I’m leaving to go travelling in just over a week a It’s clear I’ve got the organisational skills of well… a lemon and I’m yet to plan my route so here we go: 

Norway, +1hrs 

According to my Spond, this is where I’m writing my match report from. Safe to say I’ll check my time zones next week. 

Cambridge South +0hrs 

Here you’ll find Anna and Lucy. They always show up at the right time, when you need them. Please never change time zones. 

Chang mai to Pai +7hrs 

This journey has 762 turns, Emily could keep the ball on her stick for every single one of them. I fear my travel sickness cannot cope the way Emily can cope in the big leagues. 

Hospital, Bangkok +7hrs 

Evie needed to get repatriation for her broken toe, luckily she had good insurance to cover all medical costs and she’s up and running like nothing ever happened. Two goals, unfortunately one disallowed, think of it as paying the excess. 

Vang vieng, Laos +7hrs 

Paramotoring in Laos is at the top of my bucket list, a once in a lifetime experience. This is the kind of side quest you would find Kim, stunning views much like her stunning play up the pitch landing her MOM. However what Kim has on Laos is her commitment to show up every season, not just once in your life. 

Da Lat, Vietnam +7hrs 

Here you’ll find real-life Mario kart. From what I’ve heard this is a must-do. Who doesn’t want to go flying down a hill crashing into others?  Much like Maegan, she’s not afraid to fly across the pitch and clear away the opposition. Whilst Maegen sometimes has the facial expression of bowser she’s secretly our princess peach. 

Full moon party, Koh Phangan +7hrs 

Here you’ll find Amelia. Has anyone figured out how one girl has that much energy to dance around the pitch? My only guess is the buckets of cocktail at the full moon party. From what I’ve heard this is a night not to miss, much like watching Amelia glide past the opposition, just be careful not to fall into a trance or she’ll score. 

Bali, Indonesia +9hrs 

The place of tranquility, much like how I feel when Loopy is in goal. Our defence didn’t leave her much to do so she could relax and enjoy the weather, but when it comes to it, Loopy will stop every shot. I can’t say I’ll being doing the same in Bali. 

New Zealand, +13 hrs 

Home to 5 million people, 25 million sheep and our resident Tess. Not only do they have my favourite accents, but they must teach a completely different game in the southern hemisphere. Tess made that grass-like Astro look as smooth as butter, scoring the perfect straight strike. I’ve heard the rugby team is alright too. 

Fiji, +12hrs 

I suspect this is the kind of place you’d randomly bump into Alice. Paradise on earth, much like Alice’s placement on the p spot today. 

Sydney, Australia +11hrs 

I’ve left my last stop to the Katie’s as they are often the last stop for the opposition. I’m yet to see anyone get past their reach due to their strict visa requirements much like Australia, please let me stay. 

Everywhere
 +6hrs south +1hrs St Neots.

And finally, in honour of our very own Irish gals Kerryn and Amy, the trusty Irish pub. One look at their Strava shows just how many kms they both cover each week, like an Irish bar, they’re absolutely everywhere and always set you up for a great time. 

That’s my route sorted, I’ll be sure to double check the time on my plane tickets