Saturday morning means one thing! Hockey and time to hang with some great dudes. 

I wake up in my stupidly big bed, I bought it because Karo doesn't want to be near me, she says I smell, which when I think about it, it makes me sad, but I'm not going to let that get me down today, it's Saturday! Dude!

So Bro, as I'm cycling over I was thinking about this recurring dream I keep having and wondering if it means anything. It's probably nothing. Do you ever have recurring dreams? Do you do things you dont normally do in them? Are you ever bad? Bro?

Anyway...

I arrive pitchside, that means hug time, I love giving all my bros hugs, they just feel good in my arms, and I feel good in theirs. When I hug Tim I give him an extra squeeze, he just seems a bit lonely.

Oh my God, there's Will, Will is such a nice dude, I'm going to miss him being captain. Obviously I'd be a way better captain, but mainly because I'm just so experienced, and have played such a high level. I used to play national league Div 1 by the way.

Time to get changed, favourite time of the day, dude, there's sweets, i love sweets. And I asked Tim to put all my favourite tunes on, dude, I love loads of Kylie pre game, gets me pumped. I like the changing room because its a good chance to impart all my knowledge to my bros, they love hearing my stories of when I played national league. I played national league for Lindum, like lots of divisions higher than what I currently play. I also went to Millfield on a scholarship by the way. Dude, those were the good old days.

Ooh bro, time for Wills pregame speech, he always says something that inspires. Bit worried about Tim next year, he's a nice dude, but bro, he's so boring, he won't get me going like Will. 

Right, game time. I wonder what colour Blueharts play in?

Im going to pretend I know one of the players in their team, it'll make me look cool and popular in front of the guys. I really want to impress them, especially Lindars, he's probably the only person close to my level. And his name is kinda similar to this club I used to play for, it's called Lindum, and I played for their ones. In national league!

This match is really fun!

We're doing really well because I'm so good at hockey. Bro, Im really carrying this team. It's 1-1 and I make this amazing run, dribble past like 12 players and then think, Harry needs a goal, so I pass to him, but he missed. That's it, I'm never passing to any of these low league players again. HL7 said I passed to his weak side, but that's not possible, he mustn't know that I'm really a national league player, and so I wouldnt make a mistake like that.  

One of their players was getting really mad, so I teased him. I keep teasing him through the game, it's really fun. Sometimes he'd say something back, but sometimes he'd just look at me funny, kind of confused. That was a bit weird. It was like he had two completely different personalities. Like almost different people altogether.

Then I got a green. So I had to go tell the umpire he must have made a mistake, he doesn't know that I'm really a national league player, who used to play for Lindum.

Ah we lost! Gutted! If only I had my old Lindum teammates, they wouldnt have lost.

Teas is fun, but i need to use this time to bully Sam, I really dont like that guy. Last week in my amazing match report I compared him to Grima Worntongue, that was hilarious! I bet it's because I did such a good match report last week that Will asked me to do it again. Mine have been the best out of everyone's. The ones at Lindum were so good.

Oh Hey Pudds!

I wonder if he knows I'm really a national league player.

Now it's time for the quiz, I'm really clever so I should do quite well. I come up with a hilarious team name. And I basically win the quiz, I say 'I' because it was really all me, none of my team contributed, really just me.

Then I got home and look at the stars down my enormous telescope. I love how cool yet romantic looking at the stars makes me seem.