The first game back of the season saw Cambridge South take on newly promoted St Ives. And whilst St Ives may have stepped up into our league, they certainly didn’t come quietly.

But Cambridge South were back with sports fans spirit and huge amount of INTENT.

After a fiery battle, the final score was: South 3 – 2 St Ives. 

With the discovery of a toy fire engine at teas, it is only natural that we reflect on the different varieties of fire present within our squad…

Zehra- The CO2 Fire Extinguisher

Not technically a fire, but as the teams fire extinguisher, Zehra was deployed in goal to tackle any flames St Ives could produce. Lively, fearless and making her league debut, she was ready to put out anything that came her way.

Jenny & Amy- The Twin flames

Cambridge South may have only have two redheads, but unfortunately that was already enough combustible material for one pitch. 

Jenny, marshalling the defence, was our Australian Bushfire- relentless, spreading rapidly and requiring immediate evacuation procedures.

Amy, meanwhile, was our California Wildfire- unpredictable, fast-moving and liable to suddenly engulf the opposition's defensive third. But unlike your average wildfire, Amy's flames are meticulously prepared in advance. Every night, she wraps her red hair (apparently a questionable statement) around socks to wake up with perfectly formed curls.

Tildy- The Campfire

Warm, welcoming and seemingly harmless… until you get too close.

Tildy provides a lovely little glow to the defence, but one misplaced stick and suddenly the whole thing is out of control.

Katie C- The Stubble Fire

A familiar sight across the Norfolk countryside- hot, capable of covering plenty of ground and very difficult to control once it gets going. 

Katie M- The Bonfire

Katie is the classic bonfire fire- seemingly under control, but capable of producing significantly more heat than anyone anticipated.

Evie- The Electrical Fire

An extremely inappropriate amount of energy, sparks flying everywhere and absolutely no regard for standard safety procedures.

Particularly evident when she lost a shin pad mid-tackle.

Electrical fault? Probably.

 Izzy- The Birthday Candle Fire

Technically a tiny flame but shines very bright.

However, despite being surrounded by an entire team of people, Izzy's birthday candles required the winds assistance to be extinguished.

A very high-maintenance fire indeed.

Kim- The Lithium-Ion Battery Fire

Once Kim starts, she simply keeps going.

No off switch.
No cooling period.
No known containment strategy.

Emily- The Woodland Fire

Quietly spreading through the pitch, gradually taking over more and more territory until suddenly you realise:

“Oh. We’re surrounded.”

Alice- The Firework

Explosive, exciting and liable to go off when you least expect it.

You never quite know where Alice is going to appear- but when she does, expect a bang.

And obviously her strong fashion choice makes her the most beautiful firework. Is anyone else wearing black skorts? Or ones with pleats? 

Sophie- The Controlled Gas Flame

Precise and efficient.

No unnecessary explosions.
No smoke.
Just reliable combustion.

A model professional fire.

Kerryn- The Olympic Torch

A fire designed to keep going and going.

Kerryn spent the game tearing up and down the pitch with seemingly unlimited fuel, earning a thoroughly deserved Man of the Match.

The Olympic Torch may burn for weeks.

Kerryn apparently burns for 70 minutes without stopping.

Liv- The Phoenix

After travelling, Liv returned to league hockey and immediately rose from the ashes.

And what better way to announce your return than by finding...

THE BACK OF THE NET.

Twice. 

A true phoenix: back from the ashes and burning brighter than ever.

Izzy M-P- The Flamethrower

Quietly contained… until suddenly WHOOSH-flames everywhere.

Izzy may look innocent enough, but unleash that reverse shot and suddenly the goal is under serious threat.

 

St Ives- The Stubborn Campfire

They may have been the losers, but they refused to go out without a fight. Newly promoted into our league, St Ives kept the flames burning right until the final whistle and gave Cambridge South a proper battle.

 

Teas

A solid 10/10.

The only thing that could have improved them was, apparently, the presence of a toy fire engine, which quickly became the team's main source of entertainment.

 

And naturally the only way to celebrate was with some fireball shots at the first social back! Thanks, Shin xox

 

So there we have it:

Cambridge South: 3
St Ives: 2
Fire safety regulations: 0

The season is officially ON FIRE