As the masters rot on walls and the angels eat their grapes I watched Picasso visit The Planet of the Apes. What does that even mean? Was Adam Ant off his nut when he wrote it? Who knows and quite possibly.

Cambridge South 3rds put aside such pressing existential questions to take on March 4ths at the Abbey. March were hovering in mid-table and can be relied on to always give a hard contest so South knew this was not a fixture to be taken lightly.

On a week of bountiful player availability for the higher teams, the 3rds were pleased to welcome Ally, Ali and Colin to bolster their ranks. Just as well, as the team was minus top goalscorer John Greaves (sore achilles - we told him to give up the high kicking in his ballet class) and team captain Jelley had sloped off to Wales to drool over an immacuately-coiffured Victoria Coren under the guise of participating in some TV geek quiz. Neil was left to rally the troops as stand-in captain for the day.

With South's only sub a crocked Johnny D good for ten minutes at best (or so we've heard), it was a focused squad low on numbers but high on quality who took to the pitch. After arriving in the middle of the first half for the previous weekend's trip to St Neots, Wilco demonstrated radically improved time-keeping showing up nearly a whole two minutes before the whistle. March meanwhile were having their own problems with late-arriving personnel: the unexplained absence of a goalkeeper meant they had to take to the pitch with ten men and a stand-in keeper.

South exploited their unexpected numerical superiority to press home an early advantage, making use of the extra man with passing play to pull March out of shape and make them chase the game. Up front Ally W was harrying the defence and making clever layoffs to the wingers or midfield while Ali E and Tom were working hard up and down the wide channels. A period of steadily increasing pressure was rewarded when a South free hit near the top of the March D was taken quickly by Paul, slipping it to Stu who pushed the ball into the D before unleashing a shot right-to-left that nestled in the corner of the goal.

Buoyed by the breakthrough, South pressed on. The defence were containing the attacking threat comfortably and Colin at centre back was showing the confidence to step up and launch attacks into the March half. March's best goalscoring opportunities were coming from short corners. Against the general run of play March almost levelled from such a short when their captain sent a formidable shot arrowing towards the left post, only for it to be blocked inches from the line by Neil's stick. As the ball's momentum spun it up into the air and towards the goal line, Neil lifted his stick to make a second mid-air block before Jan whacked the dropping ball away off the side line just ahead of the incoming March sticks.

Regathering themselves after the scare, South exerted more control over territory and possession to neutralise March's set-piece threat. Tom was making fine progress down the right wing and his ball into the D was met by his opposite number, Ali, arriving at the left post to knock it home. Tom followed up with a goal for himself before Ally W showed presence of mind when the ball broke loose in a crowded D to lift the ball over the crowd of sticks and diving keeper into the goal. Ali E just failed to connect properly with another couple of crosses but South still arrived at half time 4-0 up and cruising.

With no sign of the March keeper arriving it looked like a real opportunity to press home the advantage in the second half. March though, to their credit, had other ideas. A rejig in formation signalled a marked improvement in their fortunes. March's excellent right winger was showing speed and skill to put South's defenders on the back foot. Sanjay sustained an injury that saw him depart the pitch and South's defence had to be jury-rigged as Jan stepped in to Sanjay's position as sweeper. First Stu and then Tom dropped to right back as Johhny came-on for a longer stint than originally planned.

However, South held firm and prevented March from making the breakthrough. As the March tide receded, Ali E and Tom each grabbed their second goals to put the result beyond doubt. March did eventually get their consolation, another fiercely struck short corner this time finding a way through just inside the right post.

The last word went to South though, in every sense, with Paul getting on the score sheet to give an emphatic look to the final scoreline. A great performance and a great result, integrating several new faces into the team and still producing some fluent, confident hockey. More of the same please, with big games against Newmarket and St Neots 4s still to come.