After chowing down on the metaphorical shit sandwiches of the Newmarket and St Neots games, Cambridge South 3rd XI’s final match of 2011 featured a literal shit sandwich.

Assembling for the pre-match meet at Milton Park & Ride, South find themselves unfortunately parked near to a pancaked pile of doggy doo. No problem though, just be careful to avoid it. Unless you’re Ian G, that is, who strolled over to the meet zone only to dump his bag by the flattened faeces whilst removing his hand-wrapped sandwiches and then carefully placing them on the ground right next to the aforementioned turd. As he teammates reacted with horror, disgust and helpless laughter, Ian appeared unperturbed, retrieving them from their imperiled position before consuming them with relish (figuratively if not literally) on the journey to Market Deeping.

That inauspicious start over with, there was the small matter of the game to play. On a weekend of limited availability some frantic shuffling had finally enabled South to get 4 men’s teams out. The 3rds were again without keeper Chris Collinson, whose appearance is beginning to assume Yeti-esque rarity, and in fact were without a keeper of any sort. Despite this, South had a good outfield 11, Nick Venner making his second consecutive appearance for the team but now promoted to centre forward, with Ian G coming in at right back and Simon Jelley again filling-in in a now quasi-familiar left back role. Jake Davis was also welcomed to the team for his first 3rds league match of the season, playing wide on the left side of the forward three.

Arriving at Market Deeping by an unfamiliar yet effective route, thanks to Simon Jelley’s Tom Tom app, the conditions were cold but clear and still: perfect hockey weather. The only issue was the shaded end of the Deeping pitch which was still hard with frost at the 2pm push back, albeit just about playable.

Following the last-one-to-the-meet-wears-the-pads rule, Wilco inevitably found himself in goal. With a keeper who had never put on pads before, South’s tactics were very clearly going to have to be based around not allowing Bourne’s forwards to have any shots on goal.

To this end, Matt Kern’s terrier-like ball winning in the centre of the midfield three was complimented by Tom’s skilful play on the left and Stu Creed’s controlled possession on the right. Up front, Nick’s pace and work rate was unsettling the Deeping defence while Jake and Rupert got down the wide channels to work crosses in. Deeping were living up to their name by falling so far back that Neil found himself playing centre back on the opposition 25 yard line.

The breakthrough, when it came, was a masterly finish by Jake. A cross by Nick from the right came up towards waist height only for Jake to arrive at the left post and brilliantly put it away with a deflected volley.

As South settled and turned up the pressure on the Bourne defence, short corners began to come. Paul South having joined John Greaves on the crocks’ bench, Jan was promoted to receiver, where he demonstrated his fine hockey brain as well as excellent shot with clever slips and changes to create increasingly promising opportunities. With an almighty hallelujah, South finally scored from a short corner as a slip right to Rupert gave him the angle for a shot which he sent past the keeper to bring up the second goal.

No further score was added before the interval but South were feeling pleased with their form and confident more goals were available, while Wilco had seen his involvement limited to kicking clear one cross.

The second half got underway with a Bourne push back leading to an immediate attack that was quickly stifled by the South defence, where settled positions were finally beginning to have a positive effect with Jan at sweeper, Neil at centre back and Jelley at left back. From the turnover, South swept forward and, for the second week in a row, Tom South was on the scoresheet within a minute of the umpire’s whistle, powering into the D to score. Great start!

That set the pattern for the half as an increasingly confident South played their best hockey in weeks, pressing the play high into Bourne’s half while being careful to avoid being too exposed on the break. As the match edged towards the final quarter, Bourne’s best chances of the game came as they managed to get one shot off that skewed wide of Wilco’s left hand post before managing their solitary shot on target which South’s stand-in keeper got just enough of a scuffed kick on to deflect it beyond his post.

The scare over, South added to their tally with another excellent solo goal from Tom, increasingly showing that midfield is his best position, before Jake finished off the scoring, this time popping up at the right hand post to knock home a cross from the tireless Nick.

So a great result against potentially tricky opponents who put in a creditable showing but came up against a strong South line-up that finally seemed to click after the frustrations of recent performances. The message for the winter break is to avoid too many mince pies and turkey, get to training or pay and play when you can and come back sharp and ready to resume the season with the return derby against South 4ths on 14th January. Happy New Year everyone!