Ok, ok, I know - we only narrowly beat a team that's only managed two wins all season, even having to rely on a contentious own-goal and a last-gasp winner to seal victory, but in our defence... in our defence...

Yes. Indeed. Where was our defence? Oh yes - on holiday.

This match was all about mis-understandings:

· First there was Williams and Wych - misunderstanding the importance of committing to the team as they skived off, muttering something about weddings and skiing.

· Haslop apparently misunderstood the instructions about the start time, arriving at the pitch just a few minutes before push-back.

· McCulloch mistakenly (but understandably I'm sure you'll agree) believed Pearson was horrendously hungover from the night before and refused to pass him the ball for most of the game.

· The St Neots left-back misunderstood which team he was playing for, playing a perfect ball in for McCulloch to drive into the circle and smash one past the keeper for the first goal of the game after just a couple of minutes.

· Clearly disorientated by proceedings at the other end of the pitch, the Cambridge South defence then misunderstood which team the St Neots centre-mid was on, allowing him to dribble unopposed through their ranks and put the ball on a plate for the forward to tap in and level the scores.

· St Neot's left-mid however was less of a threat. After being thoroughly embarrassed by some Virtuoso-Virdi™ hockey skills, he forgot what sport he was playing and booted the ball away cynically, receiving a yellow card for his soccer skills.

· Aggrieved either by the wretched unfairness of it all (not quite their exact words...) or the superiority of the South attack and annunciation, St Neots' tempers were starting to flare. The flair on the other hand (sorry - I can't help it!) was all South's with shots raining in on the St Neots' keeper who to his credit had an excellent game (says the main shot-taker...;-)

· The umpire obviously misunderstood Finn's jovial and 'colourful' banter for something a bit more sinister and instructed the South captain to subdue Mr Johnson before he was sent to the naughty corner. After weighing up the pros and cons of Johnson being carded, McCulloch decided on balance it was probably just about within the team's interests to keep him on the pitch and so the necessary calming words were handed out. There may even have been an encouraging arm around the shoulder. Well ok then - around the waist. Who am I kidding...?

· Broyd and Virdi clearly forgot the rule about not showing up the regular 1st teamers, putting in classy and composed performances at the back, with Virdi also driving the tactics at the half-time chat.

· And this match-report writer clearly misunderstood the importance of focusing on the game as I know there was another St Neots goal in the 1st half but I can't remember anything about it. Lets just say it was all Average's fault shall we?

In the 2nd half there were still more misundertandings...

· Aston suffered a complete misunderstanding of the terms 'left' and 'back', choosing instead to hover uncertainly at the top of the opposition's circle, hoping to improve that 0.08 goals-per-game average he boasts.

· St Neots continued to be uncertain about what sport they were playing, with some impressive rugby tackles and footballing prowess regularly breaking down promising South attacks. Eventually an invisible line was crossed and another yellow card was handed out.

· Meanwhile Johnson misunderstood where he was on the pitch, shooting at goal from a good 30 yards out. He'll claim of course that it was deliberate and he knew the opposition defender would deflect the ball into his own goal. Either way, this slightest of touches (detectable only to one umpire and one spectator) gave a weary South team a lucky equalizer and provided the motivation to push for a winner.

But at last the misunderstandings ended. In what proved to be the dying seconds of the game, South finally gelled and created the move of the match, with nearly everyone involved in a quick interchange of passing that ended with Claes selflessly passing across the keeper for McCulloch to finish with the keeper beaten.

It was arguably a cruel way for St Neots to lose but it's hard to feel sorry for a team that give the umpires and opposition so much abuse throughout - and after - the match.

There are now some big questions to be answered:

1. Should new technology such as 'Snickometer' be introduced into hockey?

2. How will South cope without the illustrious Hawkes for the next three weeks? (Might be interesting to compare to our performances in William's absence earlier this season...)

3. Should South spend more time practicing hockey and less time writing match reports?