After struggling all week to find eleven players willing to make the trip to Skegness, South just about managed to get a team together in time to set off on Thursday evening! The dedicated bunch that did bother to make the trip were rewarded with a glorious sunny afternoon and an easy 6-0 win. Some of the lads even found time to pop to the beach, presumably they had assumed the journey had taken so long, it was now summer!

Those that didn’t make it to the actual beach didn’t miss out; the pitch was so sandy it was more or less the same thing. This unfortunately meant that South were unable to play their preferred style of free flowing champagne hockey and were forced to get down and dirty in what was to be a scruffy battle with only the odd moment of quality.

South didn’t have to wait long for the opener which really settled any nerves and set them on their way to dominating the possession. It came from a cracking move through the heart of the pitch, the key moment being Haslop’s one touch pass at the top of the D to the right wing that split the defence. The ball was fired back in and Laurie was on hand to deservedly get the final touch.

South should have pressed home their advantage but Vice Captain Williams decided to get himself sent off instead to keep things interesting. Apparently, it’s ok to point out an umpire has made a blatant and horrendous error but one should do it quietly and without swearing.

Exactly 6 minutes later, after absorbing some promising Alford attacks, South burst down the left wing with the hard working Pearson releasing Gareth Bale . .. No sorry, Graham McCulloch who skinned two players for pace and burst into the area. The keeper, mistaking our skipper for a small child, inexplicably shouted out “come to Daddy”, Finn quite rightly took the piss, Graham scored and hilarity ensued. Obviously upset that he had been mocked by Finn the keeper threw his stick, helmet and glove thingys down and sprinted up to the half way line to remonstrate with the cocky Johnson. Sadly when he got there he was exhausted and nothing happened, much to the disappointment of the South team who were looking forward to watching Finn get a slap.

South ended the half 2-0 up, a fairly comfortable lead, the message for the second period was to make the drive back as enjoyable as possible by sticking a few more goals past Finn’s new friend and (apparently), Graham’s Dad.

The third goal came from another scorching run by McCulloch into the left channel followed by some nifty stick work, followed by a pass to Halsop on the goal line, followed by some pathetic brownnosing, followed by a tap in for McCulloch.

Goal 4 was a peach, a short corner routine that worked like the clockwork found in the finest Swiss watch, McCulloch to Chalk, the ball stopped dead, like in the good old days, Johnson to Williams to Pearson to backboard, all in the blink of an eye, sweet as!

Pearson scored the fifth as well, although the jury is still out as to whether he deserved a second goal or not. Played through into the D Pearson bravely dinked the ball past the overly aggressive keeper who was only interested in taking him out. The keeper was rightly sent off, as was Chirpy McChirpyson who somehow thought it wasn’t a peno and gobbed off Williams stylee. There was no doubt Pearson had earned the right to score the flick which was taken against a kicking back with no pads on - I questioned earlier whether Pearson deserved a second goal because his flick was slow, right down the middle and about half an inch below testicle height - a baggier pair of shorts would have won Pearson a unanimous lemon vote.

Williams picked up the sixth and final goal with a delicate lob over Alford’s third keeper of the day, who for the record was fully padded up and, although very short, was unrelated to McCulloch.

It’s worth adding that although unmentioned above, debutant Oli Culley, Dom Nelson and George Wych had great games in defence, Parker made some vital saves and Chalk was involved in much of South’s good work down the right.

Aston also travelled.