I wake up on Saturday morning, the nightmares of the night no longer consuming me. I'm not even playing and I still get them. The week has been good: I've sat at home watching Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2 on repeat while the taxpayer funded my sick pay; I boosted the morale of MWon on WhatsApp with my 'keep calm and carry on' messages and general banter…

The missus asks if I'll be going to watch the hockey, "All day long!"… Do I need a lift, "All day long!"

I'm dropped off at the pitch. The Ladies' 3s want a coach for the day; I'm definitely the right candidate for this job, I'm a Div 3 champion… they will learn a lot from my experience.

Maybe not… but that was just a warm up for my actual coaching for MWon. Everyone looks ready and raring to go, the whole team is here, even some new faces. Only a few come and say hello - they must just be focusing on the game… I chip in with an ADL every now and then, an inspiring chant if I do say so.

The game starts. The Dragons are good, their aerial specialist is nearly as good as me: doesn't do enough squarials though. The game is evenly matched. Norwich are quick and fit though and seem to be one step ahead at every ball. An early short is converted with a drag flick. This division is going to be hard work…

A second Dragon goal is scored when a run into the D draws South to cover but a pass sneaks through. 2-0 to the Dragons…can you get nightmares during the day? The cold sweats are coming again.

MWon battle back, piling on the pressure in the Norwich D. We grab a cheeky sort corner…as I say, keep calm and grab a short corner… Mark manages to convert. 2-1, Dragons are on the ropes. We press the advantage, pushing attacks into they D. Half time comes, confidence is up.

There's a photographer taking pictures. I get him to take a few of my boot to make sure everyone knows I was injured for this game; don't want people thinking I've been dropped…

The second half starts, South are on the attack but struggling to convert any of the numerous chances they have in the Norwich D. The defence are also taking a pounding. I'm glad I'm not at the back, I would've given the ball to their centre forward a few times by now… Our 16s need more aerials…

Graveling gets the first green card of the game. Norwich still managed to beat him: one player has already gotten two! The defence is looking pretty solid at the back, the temporary wing man partnership of Graveling and Tom is looking strong.

The last quarter of the game, it's getting tense, I can't even look anymore. Norwich catch us on the break, scoring two more quick goals. Final score 4-1.

Maybe the 2s will want me as their coach…? Maybe not…

The nightmares will be bad tonight.