There May Have Been a Few More Stick Tackles and Not Quite as Many Elephants

Lauren 'Centurion' Brown

So last match report of the season fell to the L3s' vice-captain to sign off for the year. Unfortunately she spent the duration of the match in bed with a splitting headache. Still, a promise is a promise. So here's how I imagine it went…

I suspect the L3s turned up bright and early to continue the extended warm-ups that have been a key part of recent successes, only to find themselves locked out of the St Catz car park. Well, it wouldn't be a game at Catz without an impromptu Grantchester Road traffic jam. I'd have thought Laurie would have given an inspiring, perhaps extensive, pre-match speech, focusing on the need to win to keep the number of wins vs. losses for the season equal, as well as emphasising the fact that we were unbeaten against Royston in four games and keen to make it five.

I imagine Rhi led the team warm-up with the usual enthusiasm we've come to expect, no doubt with added cartwheels or something to keep everyone on their toes. Or their hands.

I imagine the L3s started strongly, dominating the possession as has often been the case in recent weeks. I suspect Zara dazzled the Royston defence with her pace and trickery and I imagine Rhi spent a decent amount of the game on her bum. I imagine Tabby's shoelaces came undone. I imagine Louisa was wearing a scarf.

I imagine goals were scored by Jess F on her debut for the L3s, Zara, Jess F again and Rhi, to add to Emma scoring earlier in the day. I don't have to imagine the moment Rhi morphed into Andy Murray as there's video evidence of it here:

I also don't need to imagine what Tom thought of the goal!

On the subject of videos, I suspect Tabby banned Marcus from sharing the one he took of her falling over her own feet.

I imagine the post-game picnic was enjoyed by all, and I imagine everyone is going to be sad to say goodbye to Lauren E, who has been a defensive rock all season. I imagine man of the match votes went to Lauren E for solid defending, Charlotte for great attacking play, Jess for a great debut but imagine the honours were shared between Zara and Laurie. I also suspect Rhi wrapped up her season with her sixth LoM award.

And with that the L3s' 2018-19 season comes to an end. Thanks to Laurie for her captaincy, Dave for transforming us from early season strugglers into a team more than capable of holding their own in Div 4, and to everyone that's made it so much fun playing for the L3s this year.

I imagine next year will be more of the same!


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Laurie McKenzie
Man of the Match

Signing off the season with a captain's performance, involved at both ends of the pitch.

Zara Mann
Man of the Match

Another speedy and skilful display.

Rhi Davies
Lemon of the Match

Not satisfied with the lack of reporting of last Sunday's somersault goal at the Stevenage grass tournament, decided to up the ante with a tennis smash! (It also won the odd MoM nomination too!)