Lemon Harangue Pi

Rob Barton

Well as freshly awarded Lemon of the Match, JJ was supposed to write this match report. Sunday morning came, nothing. Sunday evening came, nothing. Monday morning came, nothing. Monday evening came…and here is the conversation I had to remind him of his duties…

[17:25, 23/09/2019] Rob: Hey JJ, Any chance of a match report for last Saturday? Once you have something feel free to send to me and I’ll upload… Cheers! Rob
[17:27, 23/09/2019] Jason James: Yes sure sorry was i meant to? I wssnt told I obviously got lemon then, was it the p flick?
[18:07, 23/09/2019] Rob: Yeah, new rule this season: LoM = match report writer!
[18:08, 23/09/2019] Jason James: Yes I know that but I didn’t know I got lemon
[18:34, 23/09/2019] Rob: Oh, I see, it was partly for the missed flick (harsh) and mostly for that image (entirely justified).
[09:13, 24/09/2019] Jason James: Rob I’m sorry I won’t be able to do the match report this time around so sorry
[09:13, 24/09/2019] Jason James: Promise I’ll make up for it in the coming season
[09:58, 24/09/2019] Rob: Ok I’ll do this one but you owe me next time!

What does this all mean I hear you cry?! Well, JJ should be voted LoM next week as a result and therefore write next weekend’s report, right? That’ll be up to this weekend’s players…

Fortunately, we have Jan who remembers everything, or at least the following:

1-0: JJ penalty corner, top left corner
still 1-0: JJ penalty flick, wide
still 1-0: BD penalty flick, saved by Mikey
2-0: Oli embarrasses their centre-back, scores coolly
3-0: Bit of a goalmouth scramble. x forces home

It was quickly resolved that x = Keishi after Rob’s deflection hit the post. If you ever do maths and want to know what x is, the answer is not π: no, x is officially Keishi.

Good effort everyone. Same again next Saturday, chaps! Though a bit more effort on the subsequent match report please…

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45
James Piper
Player of the Match

Making interceptions, solid in the tackle and sensible, pacy and accurate distribution of the ball out to start attacks. Is that all the central defender boxes ticked? Yup, pretty much…

51
Jason 'JJ' James
Lemon of the Match

A typical JJ performance. A WhatsApp message that can't be unseen, a shortie flicked into the top corner [Ed - that's good, isn't it?] but it was his p-flick contribution that really stood out; subbed on, took the flick, put it wide, subbed immediately off again. Thank you and goodnight!