In the west end of Cambridge born and raised,
The hockey pitch was where I spent most of my days.
Chillin out maxin relaxin all cool
And sitting by myself outside of school,
Cos none of my teammates had turned up for the game.
I thought to myself, that's pretty lame.
I didn't check the email cos what's the reason.
Turns out if I did, I would play more this season.
I waited for a bit but then it got cold,
So I turned around and left before I got old.
If anything I could have stayed to get in some practice
But I thought, man forget it, yo homes to Cambridge.

I pulled up to my house about 7 or 8
And I thought to myself, how'd I get back so late?
But I looked at the website, we had won 3-1.
Almost safe from relegation; job halfway done.

*Not written or contributed by Pip Ho at all.

The game:

• South scored three goals - playing more gung-ho hockey as per the captain's orders.
• South let in one goal - playing that same gung-ho hockey and with a helping foot from Jimbo.
• Three wins on the bounce for South M3s, including against both other Cambridge clubs. Now just fourteen points from safety...
• Pip may or may not have turned up to the wrong pitch so didn't play.
• George got Lemon for being unable to spell, count or let the team know what the positions were before the game began.
• Jimmy got MoM for running all game, destroying defenders and not swearing even once.