Just tap it in…

An extremely strong M3s side made it out on to the field this week after the transfer window with Cambridge City opened to the delight of one particular player. Much of the WhatsApp chat had been in high spirits ahead of the first game of the season and messages flying around in the morning to the tune of, ‘Did you see the M4s lost to the M5s?!’ and ‘Did Neil just quit hockey?’ So much drama, so little time.

On a side WhatsApp group, Connor began the weekly negotiation with Joe ‘Goal King’ Whittaker as to whether he was playing M3s or M4s (spoiler: much to Joe’s delight after seeing the shambles of the M4s’ match, it was M3s this week). Joe, getting old now, imparted wisdom to Connor and explained that it’s not all about the flashy running, stick skills, or dribbling around in circles that was obviously seducing his decisions, but the actual aim of hockey was to get the ball in the back of the net. Connor, convinced by the wisdom (and the emojis) agreed and the rest was history…

With the rules and literal goals of hockey agreed upon, and just like a bad Tinder match after you’ve had a few pints, both the ball and the back of the net grudgingly got acquainted with each other, multiple times… Just tap it in.

Rundown of the goals:

Goal 1 – flashy skills by Pete, delicately tapped in by Joe.
Goal 2 – visionary skills by Connor, expertly tapped in by Joe.
Goal 3 – flashy skills by Pete, cleverly tapped in by Joe.
Goals 4/5 – not tapped in so not relevant(?)

Just tap it in.

MOM was justifiably Pete ‘Assist King’ Creed (note: he likely doesn’t like that title). Lots of flashy skills; hopefully one day he’ll be able to tap it in too (too soon??) Joe’s retirement will likely shortly follow.

LOM was justifiably George. Although much to his despair, and after attempting to organise a coup against Joe (for scoring too many goals? Who knows the reason…), George’s slipping over an invisible banana peel at an inopportune time to give the St Neots striker an open goal firmly sealed the deal.

Other noteworthy appearances and events included:

• Matt’s Olympic-worthy heartrate (or maybe he didn’t put any effort in? Who knows).
• Jimbo turning up to the pub on his own (COVID compliant, we like that).
• Pete’s comments after the game: ‘Did you score, Joe?’ No-one knows what game he was watching…
• George sprayed Lucozade on people’s crotches. It’s probably a territorial thing.
• Bhav didn’t get a card.
• Perhaps most importantly, Jonny didn’t get a goal! M4s next week.