I've often wondered what would happen if someone, say a Dane in this instance, watching our match, tried to explain what happened to someone, who was, let's say, a Bosnian, and asked them to write the match report? Thanks to Google Translate, we now know…

Cambridge South's M4s managed to preserve a hard-earned point with the last touch of the game – hero Captain James throws himself on a loose ball in D after a penalty shootout that was carried out after normal time.

The most important part of the game was the slide in the run, with both teams having the conditions to be dominant, but none had enough capital letters to take the game beyond the reach of the other.

In short, and in the order that led to some discussion around Whatsapp;

• We took time to wake up, after leaving Cambridge early - they didn't equally slumber and they took a well-deserved led - 1-0
• Pete D after a hard effort by Joe W, hit/pushed/threw the ball into the net, 1-1
• JJ gave his first penalty kick of the day, stopping the ball on the line, forgetting that it was Jo D (bravely) who offered to fall and play in goal. The resulting ball movement is now orbiting the planet, currently visibility in Australia's night sky.
• Half-time
• After skipper James's call for a weapon, we went easy and Jamie C took home a cross on a long tripod, 2-1.
• No, they scored two goals that we shouldn't have allowed them, 2-3.
• Joe took advantage of John G's pass and shoot home, 3-3.
• JJ, who was still offended that he was not allowed to play on goal, proved what a good goalkeeper would he be by masterfully repelling a penalty kick past the tripod. PS scored this time, 3-4 with 2 minutes left
• We won fair PC last minute and the resulting match saw the ball appear behind goalkeeper Kettering – Captain James dived and gave enough ball swing to see him dribble, 4-4

Although we were disappointed to be home with just one point, there were a lot of positives that shaped the game – we know what we're doing well and we know where to focus on improving in the squad.

Man of the Match credited James for a truly leader achievement of energy, enthusiasm and scoring goals

Lemon matches came to me, John G, for his selfless pursuit of the truth