Lemon surprise accompanied by a grape duo with banana

Simon Ta

Having been mysteriously evicted from the whatsapp group [Ed: fear not I checked and you're still on there, Si] and missing all comms, it was very late in the day (a week later in fact) that I discovered I was voted the usual LoM.... and MoM! (a rarity!)... and so the privilege of writing the match report has fallen onto my manly lemon style shoulders. 

I am told by our cap'n that for epic runs, encouragement and movement, the MoM was presented to me, but probably of more interest to all imaginative viewers is that the LoM was presented for my under garments consisting of some tight wetsuit bottoms that couldn't hide my modesty. 

As it so happened, in my eagerness to get back onto the pitch following the covid cancellations and to rush to the pitch on time, I forgot both the inside underwear and the outer playing shorts that should have sandwiched my tights... 

But back to the game (from hazy memories), Si's first shot from the edge of the area was stolen on the line in the usual way by that cunning and pesky Barto... (oh wait, he didn't play this game)... actually it was Peter this time who deflected it from a millimetre... A Monck short corner also smashed the backboard ... in between City running riot with some clinical finishes by the evergreen Simon Webb who decided that since his dragflicks were not quite working on the day, that he would smack 3+ unstoppable reverse stick piledrivers instead with 2 additional straight strikes. 

Honourable mentions to Peter F doing a 7 out of 10 Olympic dive and scream with the umpire awarding the foul against him with his face in the mud, and Nev's son Casper giving him the wise words of wisdom - "Dad run!!", "Dad, move!!", "Dad, the ball is over there".  

Good effort, but also a nice touch turning it into a friendly instead of a league match!


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Simon Ta
Player of the Match

Runs, encouragement, space-making and movement in the pitch department.

Simon Ta
Lemon of the Match

Runs, encouragement, space-making and movement in the trouser department.