I know what you’re thinking. 

How can you turn the nil-nil into a tantalising, engaging match report?  It was a good game wasn’t it?!  There was plenty to talk about.  From the way we battled, through to all those excelling individual performances, to the way we now want to be a team.  It’s true, the feel has changed now and we do so want to play for one another.  The team matters.  This is how you build a team.  A squad.  A collective.

But that’s not what you’re thinking, is it?

You’re thinking since Ahmad gave the MoM/LoM award descriptions Star Wars themes, can we have a Star Wars themed match report?

Yeah, that’s what you’re thinking.

No, no you can’t.

Instead however, we can answer the question: which Star Wars character would I be in this team and why?

That’s what you really want to know.

 

Jo Dant – Kit Fisto

The guy who smiles in Attack of the Clones but always manages to deliver.  Deserves better recognition.  A key ingredient whenever he is called upon to play.

 

Alan Radford - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Well this wise old codger keeps Luke and the rest of us safe.  Defender of the realm.  This guy has really seen some action.

 

Sev Warren – Kylo Ren

Like the acting of Mr Driver, Sev brings quality on the stage.  His angst makes for some great moments in any match report.  Commander of the first order?  Commander of the highest order!

 

James Piper -  C-3PO

The guy just does what he’s programmed to do.  In James’s case it’s inflict as much grief as possible on the opposition centre-forward.  Underrated as he occasionally saves the day.

 

Tom Crellen – Poe Dameron

Poe embodies coolness.  His hair, the quips.  The flight jacket could be straight out of Top Gun school.  Fast and committed.

 

James Hartley – Finn

Brings nuance and depth to the whole gang.  Practical and brave.  Might have been a former stormtrooper.  But definitely now a real trooper. 

 

Pete Dreuitt -  Papa Smurf

The governor.  Confident and wise.  The one folks look up to.  And not just the wee blue folks.  Sometimes though his runs can only be described as belonging on a completely different programme.

 

Roland Li – Rey

Our new favourite.  Everyone gets a tiny tingling feeling when they first see him on a match day.  Our very own Crazy Daisy who plays with grace and heart.  Anyone can hold a lightsaber stick but not everyone can wield it with such distinction. 

 

Phil Marriott – The Mando

Like the Mandalorian Phil is a lone-wolf mercenary with a big heart and makes a big impact.  He’s turning out to be a complex and tricky player who opponents struggle to keep up with.  Singlehandedly brilliant he deserves his own spin-off team.

 

Jan Brynjolffssen – Yoda

Wise owl he is.  Yoda’s tactics might not always bear the most fruit but he has unsurfaced acumen.  We should give him a break.

 

Henry MacDonald – Baby Yoda

A youthful complexion belies steady judgement.  Able to read the game and has the power to appear in an unexpected D at the blink of an eye.  Oh and he can also fly.

 

Alec Alston – BB-8

Versatile and mobile can roll in any direction.  Happy to square up to any R2-D2 unabated like a proper champ.  Gonna be worth a fortune in the not-too-distant future.

 

Ahmad Hassan -  Chewbacca

A lovable treasure and a proper man.  You know the sort.  Underneath that base layer there’s enough chest hair to insulate the McMurdo station.

 

Nev Warren – Princess Leia

Bear with me on this one.  Nev is our training princess.  Without him/her the rebellion would be lost.  With strong moral standing he tries to do the right thing despite all the odds.  Also we all know he would look good with curly “ear-muff” sideburns.

 

Rob Barton – R2-D2

He hope everyone tolerates our little gobby droid.  He speaks mostly in bleeps and bloops.  Not available next week.  Got a bit of a weekend planned.  He’s going to get legless.

 

Jordan Walker – Luke Skywalker

Effortless charm and a combination of cool persona and a ‘90s hair do makes Mr (Sky)Walker our ultiamte hero.  Getter of goals.

 

Matt Need – Darth Vader

Leader of the Dark Side.  The most iconic villain in history (aside from Goldfinger).  More of an unsung, misunderstood hero.  Well maybe.  He offered sound advice, he only steals people he wants to take, and – to be fair – he was reasonable about the derby.

 

Jay Jay – Jar Jar Binks

Not just the amazing name similarity but the (perhaps ever so slightly dopey) dog-like characteristics and the immediate impact.  You say people gonna aerial?

 

Dave Monck – Jabba the Hutt

Once the most powerful gangster defender across the galaxy far, far away.  There were no second chances if you get near him.  Completely ruthless.  Victim perhaps of his own hubris.

 

Peter Finding – Darth Maul

To quote the man himself: 'This is quite reminiscent of me when faced with a dubious umpiring decision'.  Enough said.

 

Dan Image-Flower – Han Solo

One of the leaders on the pitch.  A smuggler, a scoundrel, a hero.  What a difference he can make.