From our Foreign Correspondent - Puerto Pollenca, Mallorca

In a week that saw a pre-training pep-talk text from Stuart Rimmer followed almost immediately by an apology for being unable to attend, and an emphasis from captain Sam Highfield on being ‘professional, determined [and] composed’ followed the next day by Sam turning up shockingly late - like an amateur -you could forgive Nik Patel and Mark Inman for wondering if they’d got the wrong day as they sat at a Long Road picnic table, on time, enjoying the sun, but concerned. As concerned as I am for the length of that opening sentence… Yet not as concerned as Harry Lewis ought to have been for his wager on Wales later that day. 

The team did eventually compose itself of what some would call an old-fashioned 50/50 split between defenders and forwards. A confident South took to the pitch knowing a win against bottom side Sudbury would most likely ensure the lunacy of a ‘2 go up, 4 go down’ league system did not come back to bite them and would certainly put an end to Sam’s melodramatic talk of a relegation battle. 

The game got under way with all the balminess and malaise of a summer friendly. Two early short corners for the tourists brought a few nervous glances from South’s two-man, dual-clipboard management team, but a slow burn of quality perhaps inevitably manifested itself in the ‘had-to-be-there’ moment when Joel Harrison looked the most likely to open the scoring. A side bet that I understand Harry also lost as Jack Humby put the home side ahead some-way into the first half. A fantastic finish with so much to be said for it that Sudbury’s midfield were heard to be remarking upon its glory deep into the second half. South looked dangerous with attacking moves from all corners, Tim Winter looking the most fluid in 3D, but well supported from midfield and both wing backs - Connor Trimble and Nick Patel, who had almost too much space to themselves out wide. 

South led 1-0 at the half, despite many opportunities for more, let down by the odd heinous miss-trap (the professional culprit is determined to be more composed next time) and little to trouble Mike Gillingham for some time. Harry Lewis’ day meanwhile was showing signs of things yet to come as the umpires took the chance at half time to loudly announce their disgust at not being told in advance about teas and having missed out on pizza previously. They’re hungry-hungry too Harry. 

The second half was all Cambridge South with only brief lapses or the odd dribble into stick causing the comfortable back four of any issue. Two goals then came in fairly quick succession from Jacko - driving into the top right of the D to unleash a powerful strike via a Sudbury stick, proving accuracy is overrated - and Tim Winter - memories of his goal being overwritten by the lasting image of Tim preferring to play ping pong with their keeper‘s pads than claim his second. 

The final quarter was punctuated by Sudbury looking to attack on the counter and nearly converting from a couple of consecutive short corners, but Jack Humby made certain of 3 points for South after Sam Highfield found himself with a the hockey equivalent of a spare - a three-on-one that only indecision or crippling lack of confidence could ruin. An eventual decision to slip left to Humby was duly rewarded with a nonchalant finish. 4-0 South. 

Ultimately, a convincing victory for a side looking to the end the season strongly with their form returning to previous peaks. Harry Lewis perhaps would have done better to take Sudbury beating the spread rather than his foolhardy wager on Wales to win by 35.
 

The latter half of this match report is curtesy of Harry Lewis, who couldn't resist a classic remix...

Connor woke up cold one Tuesday
Looking tired and feeling quite sick
He felt like there was something missing in his day to day life
So he quickly opened the wardrobe
Pulled out some trackies and a top that seemed clean
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes
That were ripped around the seams
And he thought these shoes just don't suit me

Hey, Connor's got some new shoes on
And suddenly everything is right
I said, hey Connor's got some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting
Oh short on money but long on time
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And he’s running late and don't need an excuse
'Cause he’s wearing his brand new shoes

Woke up late one Saturday
And he’s seeing stars as he’s rubbing his eyes and he
Felt like there were two days missing
As he focused on the time
And he made my way to the changing room
But he had to stop from the shock of what
He found a room full of all his friends all are dancing round and round
And he thought hello new shoes
Bye bye blues

Hey, Connor's got some new shoes on
And suddenly everything is right
I said, Connor's got some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting
Oh short on money but long on time
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And he’s running late and don't need an excuse
'Cause he’s wearing his brand new shoes

Take him wandering through these streets
Where bright lights and angels meet
Stone to stone they take him on
He’s walking to the break of dawn
Take him wandering through these streets
Where bright lights and angels meet
Stone to stone they take him on
He's walking to the break of dawn

Hey, Connor's got some new shoes on
And suddenly everything is right
I said, Connor's got some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting
Oh short on money but long on time
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And he’s running late and don't need an excuse
'Cause he’s wearing his brand new shoes

Oh hey, Connor's got some new shoes on
And suddenly everything is right
I said hey, Connor's got some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting
Oh short on money but long on time
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And he’s running late and don't need an excuse
'Cause he’s wearing his brand new shoes

^^ Connor's new shoes