There has been a recent trend in the Men’s 1s of some real snake like behaviour, with a surprising number of culprits being identified. Having looked at the entire team, everyone has been found to have similarities with snakes.

Here are the findings:

Max Church:

Aesculapian Snake - Typically a dark bronze colour which matches Maxs bronze Spanish complexion, that he loves to bring up at any opportunity, with smooth scales which also happens to match his playing style. Smooth and casually saving goals, he is known to try some silky smooth back heal kicks out at training which are yet to be seen in the league.

Oscar Serra:

Asp Viper - Native to Spain this vipers bite is both painful and dangerous, which nomads definitely felt. 4% of untreated bites can be fatal. Lucky for nomads there are plenty of doctors around Cambridge.

Stu Rimmer:

Grass Snake – The grass snake is a staple in the UK, much like Stu is a staple in the M1s having made an appearance in the team for 11 seasons.

Ed Doust:

Boa Constrictor – The Constrictor Suffocates its prey before consuming. Ed, when defending, is often found wrapped around attackers, like a constrictor not giving them any room to breathe.

Mark Inman:

Hoop Snake – The hoop snake gets its name from its unique attribute where it doesn’t slither, instead it rolls. Mark, like the Hoop Snake, loves to roll out which aggravates the opposition to no end.

Sam Highfield:

The sidewinder - Both known for their blistering speed (Self-proclaimed in Sam’s case). Sam wriggles his way through the opposition midfield with many sideways balls, some backwards but never forward.

Scott Catley:

Everglades Rat Snake – Striking Orange appearance and are only active when the temperatures suits them, much like Scott (The temperature never suits him)

Will Townley:

King Cobra – Coming in as the most well-known snake in the world, this snake perfectly matches our own well know snake Will Townley. The king cobra is so venomous that it can take down a fully grown male elephant; just like Townley’s playing style who could take on anyone on his day.

Tim Winter:

Brahminy Blindsnake – The snake that is most widespread in the world, found on nearly every continent. Tim who is often found in foreign exotic lands, matches very well to this snake. However, this is where the similarities stop as the Brahminy Blindsnake is one of the smallest snake species… and also a completely female species.

Connor Trimble:

St. Lucian Racer – The worlds rarest snake. Connor is very rarely seen in the wild just like the St. Lucian Racer, often choosing not to socialise with the boys. Very snakey.

Harry Schumman:

Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake - Has a unique zigzagging diamond pattern which matches Schu’s darting runs up the pitch. The rattlesnake’s venom paralyzes its victims, which Schu clearly used this weekend to allow him the time to get a FOREHAND shot off and past the Nomads keeper.

Henry Blower:

Garter Snake – The garter snake has the biggest migration of any snake, Blower seems to make the biggest migration during the game, seeming to travel huge distances during the game.

Harry Lewis:

Burmese Python – It came to light in this game that Harry Lewis is in fact the world's BIGGEST snake. After stealing a clear goal from Connor, Lewis then celebrated as if scoring a last-minute winner in the world cup final. Ultimate snake behaviour grants him the comparison to the world biggest (real) snake.

Jacko:

Black Mamba – The fastest striking snake in the world. Just like the Mamba, getting his strikes away instantly, Jacko can deliver a very deadly blow when the defenders are least expecting.

Nat Farrant:

The Basilisk – Which snake could we compare our coach to? Betraying his own club and team (City 1s) to come and coach the best at club in Cambridge... real snake behaviour here. But we cannot just compare him to any old snake... He is too big of a snake for his betrayal and we need to go bigger. Therefore, looking into the world of the imaginary for the biggest snake ever depicted, we find that Nat has to be compared to the Basilisk from Harry Potter.

A little about the game. It started as any other South-Nomads derby game does, scrappy but fairly even; with goals coming from both teams early on but south just pipping nomads at half time at 2-1. The second half saw the team step up a little and start to wear down the Nomads team, leading to a flurry of goals. A Notable goal from Harry Schumman with his first “real goal” for south as he struck the ball from top D into the bottom corner. The team however, did not perform to the standard that Nat expects and we were told as much immediately after the game. 7-1 was not a strong enough win for the coach. Many of the team decided to go see how it should have been done the next day as the coach stepped up to captain his own side against “lufbra” students… the boys were not impressed.