What a performance, what a victory, what an all-round triumph! Like Hannibal's army crossing the Alps to ravish the plains of Italy, South's troops swept down on their helpless victims, scattering all before them. Brandishing their own lethal vanguard (Arsenal and Rob B), solid centre (captain Kev and Matty K) and pachyderm rearguard (Dom and Dave M, trumpeting loudly as ever), South exerted a suitably Carthaginian degree of tactical and strategic dominance over their opponents from the start.

The opening period of this Punic struggle set the pattern for the game: some good individual displays of skill from Newmarket allowed them to make thrusts into the South half but superior organisation and team play from the Southerners, under the transcendent genius (nem. con.) of Kev's Hannibalistic generalship, gave the home team a platform to exert control over the game.

After ten minutes of this thrust, parry and maneouvre, South were still seeking a way through the Newmarket back line. Adopting the Carthaginian general's famous motto, aut viam inveniam aut faciam (although of course Hannibal would have spoken it in Punic, not Latin), South resolved to either find a way, or make one. The breakthrough duly came from a South surge into the D where the ball was picked up by Rob Barton who, with one of his signature falling-reverse-stick-sweep-hits (™), skilfully planted the ball into the goal.

Liberated by the opening score, a period of expansive play followed from South capped by a second goal. Emulating Hannibal's classic pincer envelopment of the Roman legions at Cannae, South fell back on their own lines, drawing in the Newmarket centre before launching a counterattack from the flanks, leaving their hapless opponents stranded as the attacking Southerners passed beyond and behind them. From the left, the ball was worked out rapidly from Ron Oren via Dave Aston to Mark Pears, who fired the ball towards the far post where the lurking Rob craftily turned it home.

The third goal that would seal the game for South proved elusive, as Newmarket regrouped to show that they still posed a threat. In the South goal, Lino Di Lorenzo was called into action with a smart save as a Newmarket player found himself with time and space in the area. South's hold on the game was sustained through hard work in midfield from Dave Stock and Tim Clapp (according to the astute observation of his infant son, Charlie, at pitchside "Daddy play hockey run really fast") out wide and Matt Kern in the centre, with particular accolades due to Dom Nelson, showing himself to be a titan in the middle of the pitch in his first game for the 2nds.

As half time approached, South finally gave themselves clear blue (green?) water. Neil Sneade received the ball at right back and, overlapping with Tim on the wing, carried the ball past two Newmarket defenders before cracking a pass into the top of the D. Arsenal, having got himself in front of the last man, nutmegged his opponent with a deft touch before firing past the stranded keeper.

With confidence coursing through the side, the second half followed a similar template. Initially though, South struggled to regain their pre-interval momentum and Newmarket were having at least their fair share of the play. The Cat was again given the opportunity to demonstrate his cougar-like reactions, racing off his line to smother an attack and, on another occasion, beating a Newmarket attacker to the ball near the edge of his D to make a firm kicked clearance. It was midway through the second period before South, having ridden out Newmarket's surge, saw Rob complete his hat-trick and definitively settle the outcome.

A stoppage due to an injury (thankfully not serious) to a Newmarket player, following a spectacular somersault over a typically unyielding tackle from Dom, allowed Kev to quickly gather the troops and call for a last push to up the tempo. The team duly responded and the final twelve minutes were played out almost completely in Newmarket's half, with sustained pressure in and around the D eventually resulting in Rob adding his fourth, and the team's fifth, goal of the day.

So, a most satisfying performance and a commensurate result played out under blue skies on a balmy, spring-like day: five goals and a clean sheet, what more could anyone ask. It only remained to head off to The Hat and Feathers for a well earned post-match pint and a bite, there to reminisce on the excellence of the team's play and the comedy of the Monckosaurus's tumble on his arse.