An experiment was conducted to determine whether Cambridge South Mens' 6 would beat Bourne Deeping Mens' 5 [1]. Professor Barton opted for the 2:3:2:3 experimental method [2]. This is a preliminary report which carries the findings of the first trial. A later trial is to be carried out in the Cambridge laboratory [3]. "Let's start this game confidently as we have been improving each week.  This is a development side so will, like us, most likely be a mixture of juniors and seniors!" [4]

The participants used the first half of the trial to establish dominance on the pitch, holding a good press and having respectable possession [5]. "Stupendous skilling and interceptions from Alex" [6].

"Dexter was running so fast to get to the D that it made Rob look like he was standing still" [7][15]

It was observed that under these conditions: Rob Barton scores one goal per fixture, at the 49th minute in open play. "Stupendous teamwork and passing" [8].

John Greaves scores goals once per match. In particular, this happens when he receives a rebound from the keeper at the 49th minute. "Stupendous teamwork and finishing for the goals" [9].

A player from the Bourne Deeping research team scored a goal at the 55th minute, capitalising on congestion and overload in the D, and perhaps the defence being a little slow to clear the ball.

It's worth reflecting that Bourne Deeping came forth with a solid mixture of experienced players and fast youth. "Stupendous tackles from James" [10].

Overall, a well-earned 2:1 win on a hot and humid day. "We came, we fought, we won" [11].

The laboratory in question includes a mobile catering van, from which donuts, bacon rolls and hot drinks are available [12].

"Cambridge South has a stupendous website, and one of the best things about it is the diversity of the match reports" [13].

"I think that everything's been covered" [14].

[1] www.englandhockey.co.uk
[2] Attached
[3] https://cambridgesouthhockeyclub.co.uk/matches/6476/
[4] R. Barton
[5] A. Thomas
[6] A. Bota
[7] A. Taylor
[8] E. Bloomfield
[9] R. Barton
[10] M. Woodfin
[11] W. Dijkstra https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dijkstra%27s_algorithm
[12] https://eddyleisure.com/donut-van-for-hire/
[13] R. Barton
[14] C. Woodfin
[15] Editor's note: no humorous interpretation intended, Rob was running too! Dexter got MoM for this commitment.